Chapter One
As night fell, the cold moon hung high in the sky. The bright moonlight fell on the ancient castle on the edge of the city, casting a mysterious silver veil around it. Emily stood on the balcony, looking at the forest in the distance, and felt a chill rising from the bottom of her heart. Since moving to this castle, her life has become bizarre and mysterious. The cold wind in October swept across her bare shoulders, bringing a shudder. Emily subconsciously wrapped her woolen shawl tightly around her, but she couldn't feel any warmth. This castle seems to be always cold, just like its mysterious owner Lucas Black, exuding an inaccessible atmosphere. "Miss Emily," suddenly, a low voice sounded behind her, "You'll catch a cold if you're still outside so late." She turned around and saw Lucas standing at the balcony door. The moonlight outlined his tall figure. He was wearing a dark silk shirt, and the collar vaguely revealed his strong chest. The amber eyes flickered strangely in the darkness, as if they could see through her soul. "Mr. Black," Emily whispered, trying to hide the trembling in her voice, "I'm just admiring the moonlight." Lucas took a step forward, but suddenly stopped. Emily noticed that his body stiffened instantly, and his nostrils fluttered slightly, as if he was sniffing something. His expression became solemn, and a glimmer of wildness flashed in his eyes, but was quickly suppressed. "Please go in," his voice was hoarser than usual, "It's not safe here." Just then, a cold night breeze swept across the balcony, bringing a faint smell of rust. Emily saw that Lucas's fingers were almost pinched into the stone railing, and his knuckles were white. She couldn't help but take a step back, her heartbeat accelerated. "I thought this castle was the safest place," she whispered, "after all, you are here." Lucas let out an almost inaudible growl, "Some danger, Miss Emily, is much closer than you think." His eyes looked unusually sharp in the moonlight, "especially on a full moon night." Suddenly, a wolf howl came from the distant forest, shrill and long. Emily was surprised to find that Lucas' pupils shrank in an instant and turned into vertical pupils like a beast, but the fleeting change made her wonder if it was just an illusion caused by the moonlight. Just then, a cold breath passed by her from behind, accompanied by a chuckle. Emily turned around and saw only a dark shadow flashing in the corner of the balcony. When she looked back again, Lucas had come to her side, with a hand gently on her shoulder. "I'll take you back to your room," he said, with an unquestionable commanding tone in his voice. Emily noticed that his palms were surprisingly hot, in sharp contrast to the chill of the castle. Walking in the dark corridor of the castle, Emily could feel Lucas' presence, he walked behind her like a silent guardian. Moonlight poured in through the Gothic stained glass windows, casting mottled shadows on the floor. "Good night, Miss Emily," Lucas whispered in front of her door, "Remember, no matter what sound you hear, don't leave the room tonight." "Why?" Emily asked subconsciously. Lucas was silent for a moment, his eyes looked deep and dangerous in the moonlight, "Because the moonlight tonight is too beautiful, it will always wake up something that shouldn't wake up." When the door closed behind her, Emily leaned against the door, her heartbeat still alarmingly fast. She could hear Lucas's footsteps gradually fading away, but she seemed to hear the sound of wings flapping outside the window. She walked to the window and looked out through the glass. In the moonlit courtyard, she saw a figure standing by the fountain. The man looked up at her window, and the moonlight illuminated his pale marble face - it was Draco, with a mysterious smile on his lips and a dangerous light in his eyes. When Emily blinked, his figure had disappeared, as if he had never appeared. Emily lay trembling on the bed, listening to the wolf howling outside the window. She knew that she had fallen into a world full of dangers, and this was just the beginning. On this moonlit night, her fate was closely linked to two mysterious and dangerous beings, and there was no turning back.
Chapter Two
In the dead of night, Emily lay in bed, the faces of Lucas and Draco appeared in her mind. She could not resist the deep attraction, but she also knew that she was caught in a dangerous vortex. She knew that the confrontation between the two men was a life-and-death hostility, and she was just a pawn in their war. A corner of her heart reminded her to escape, but the deeper desire pulled her to stay in this mysterious castle, looking forward to the unknown encounter.
Just as she was about to fall asleep, a slight knock on the window interrupted the silence. Emily opened her eyes, and the moonlight poured into the room through the curtains, making the corners of the room particularly dark. She sat up subconsciously, trembling slightly and walked to the window. When she opened the curtains, a figure was standing in front of her, cold and elegant.
It was Draco.
"Sorry, I scared you, Emily." His low voice was frivolous and indifferent, as if every word revealed his unfathomable darkness. His eyes were like two flames in the abyss, locking onto her with an irresistible force.
"How... are you here?" Emily's heartbeat quickened, and her hands unconsciously clenched a corner of the curtain. She knew she should be scared at this moment, but Draco's unique charm made it hard for her to resist.
Draco did not answer her question, but slowly approached, lowered his head and whispered in her ear: "You know why I'm here, Emily. You've never really been afraid of me, right?"
The moment he approached, she smelled the cold breath on him, as if it came from the night a thousand years ago. Her breathing gradually became rapid, but she did not retreat, but was locked by his eyes, as if her soul was also attracted to him.
"Draco... we can't do this." Her voice was weak, but she did not retreat at all, as if even she herself was struggling with contradictions.
"You don't belong here at all, Emily. Staying here will only put you in deeper danger." Draco gently lifted her chin, with a smile on the corner of his cold mouth, that smile was both gentle and dangerous, "But if you want to know the real darkness, then come. I will take you to see everything."
At this moment, the door was pushed open, and Lucas' figure appeared at the door like a shadow. His face was gloomy, and his eyes were burning with anger. It was his possessiveness and anger that he could not hide. He walked towards Draco step by step, his hands clenched, his muscles tensed, as if he was going to pounce on and tear the enemy in front of him in the next second.
"Draco, let her go." Lucas' voice was low and threatening, like an enraged beast. It was the first time Emily saw him so out of control, his eyes were like a ball of unextinguishable fire, revealing uncontrollable anger and possessiveness.
Draco smiled slightly, released Emily's chin, and looked at Lucas provocatively. "Don't you understand yet? She doesn't belong to you. The savagery of the wolf tribe is nothing but a bondage to her, and I can give her true freedom."
"The 'freedom' you mentioned will only make her fall into darkness. You don't understand what true protection is." Lucas sneered, his eyes as sharp as an eagle. He slowly stepped forward, blocked Emily, and protected her behind him. That was his attitude as the wolf king, firm and unshakable.
Emily was sandwiched between the two, feeling her heartbeat speed up, as if breathing became difficult. These two completely different forces intertwined and collided in front of her, making it impossible for her to decide which side to choose.
Draco raised the corners of his mouth and slowly took a step back, his eyes still on Emily. "Emily, one day you will find that he can't satisfy the desire in your heart. And I am your true home."
As soon as the voice fell, Draco's figure disappeared into the night, as if he had never appeared.
Lucas looked at the empty room, his fists gradually loosened, but the anger and worry in his eyes remained. He turned around and looked at Emily softly, but his eyes still flashed with contradictions and forbearance.
"Are you okay?" He asked in a low voice, with a trace of undisguised concern in his voice.
Emily nodded, but her heart was in turmoil and it was difficult to calm down. She knew that she had fallen too deep. She could not let go of these two men easily, nor could she easily resist them. A complex emotion surged in her heart, which was a dangerous and fatal attraction.
"Lucas, I..." She wanted to say something, but lost her words when she met his eyes.
"Don't get close to him." Lucas' voice was low, with a hint of pleading and warning, "I know you feel confused, but Draco is not what you think. He will only drag you into the darkness, and I won't let him hurt you."
Emily just looked at him silently, and a touch of uncertainty gradually rose in her heart. She knew that this was not just a war, but a contest of feelings and desires. In this dangerous triangle relationship, she has gone too far and can never turn back.
Chapter Three
Emily stayed awake all night. The wind outside the window blew through the woods, making a low moan, as if the whole castle was whispering in her ear. She curled up in bed, recalling Draco's cold smile and Lucas's deep eyes. Two completely different attractions stirred in her heart, making her lost on the edge of danger and desire.
When the sky was slightly bright, she made a decision. She had to figure out what she wanted, the wildness and protection of the wolf tribe, or the mystery and temptation of the vampire. She got up and walked out of the room, walked through the deserted corridor, and came to the door of Lucas's study.
The door of the study was slightly open, and a whisper came from inside. Emily stood outside the door and pricked up her ears to listen.
"She is innocent, Lucas." A low and gentle female voice came from Lucas's sister, Leila. Emily had heard rumors about her. Leila was the wisest prophet in the wolf tribe and could always see fragments of the future.
"I know, Leila." Lucas' voice was hoarse, as if he had struggled all night, "but I can't control myself, I can't suppress my desire for her. I'm afraid that if she stays with me, she will only be swallowed by my darkness."
Emily's heart trembled, and she raised her hand to push open the door.
"Lucas." Her voice was abrupt and firm in the silent room.
The two turned around and saw her standing at the door with a hint of determination in her eyes. She walked slowly towards Lucas, looked up at him, with a hint of determination and inquiry in her eyes.
"I know you protect me, but I'm not a fragile child." Her voice was calm and firm, "I need to know the truth. Why are you always so hesitant? And why is Draco so persistent in approaching me?"
Lucas' expression froze for a moment, his eyes wandering on her face, as if he was weighing whether to tell her everything. Finally, he took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind.
"Emily, the fate of our werewolves is usually determined at birth. The wolf tribe has a unique ability to perceive its partner. When we find that person, we will feel an attraction that cannot be ignored... and you are my destined partner." Lucas spoke in a low voice, with pain and desire flashing in his eyes.
Emily's heartbeat accelerated, and thousands of emotions surged in her mind, both shocked and confused. She never thought that she would become his destined partner, and his possessiveness and protectiveness of her turned out to come from this ancient bond.
She asked softly: "What about Draco? Why is he so obsessed with me?"
Lucas's eyes became more gloomy, and there was a hint of anger in his eyes. "Draco's tribe never believed in fate. They prefer to dominate their own future. And he believes that as long as he possesses you, he can destroy me and the traditional beliefs of the wolf tribe. So, he is not sincere to you, but to weaken my power."
Emily's heart suddenly tightened, and a hint of anger and loss surged in her eyes. However, she also felt a little unwilling, as if she was just a tool in this struggle, being fought over and torn by the two, and she had no right to control herself.
"So, Lucas, are you sincere? Is it just fate for me?" There was a hint of disappointment in her voice, and her eyes became cold.
Lucas was stunned, as if he was hurt by her question. He was silent for a moment before speaking: "Emily, I can't deny the existence of fate, but I can't ignore my feelings for you." He gently held her hand, his eyes full of affection and desire, "Whether it is fate or something else, I am willing to give up everything for you."
Just then, a slight sound came from outside the window. Emily turned back suddenly and saw a pair of dark red eyes flashing outside the window, like a flame in the dark, and the familiar cold breath startled her heart.
It was Draco.
He stood outside the window, sneering at them, as if everything was under his control. He knocked on the window lightly, his voice cold and full of provocation: "I don't think it's possible to talk about 'betraying' everything here, Lucas. You can't protect her because she will eventually come to me."
Lucas' eyes immediately became cold and dangerous. He stood in front of Emily, glared at Draco outside the window, and growled in a low voice: "Stay away from her, Draco. You can't force her to choose darkness."
Draco smiled slightly, his eyes full of evil confidence. He raised his eyebrows at Emily, as if everything was under his control. "Dear Emily, you will find that the bright world cannot satisfy your desire. And darkness - is your destination." After he finished speaking, his figure instantly disappeared into the night.
The room returned to silence, but the air was filled with tension and uneasiness. Emily looked at the empty darkness outside the window, feeling both fear and desire in her heart. She could no longer deny Draco's attraction to her, and the danger and mystery made her heart beat faster.
Lucas noticed her hesitation, and a trace of pain and uneasiness flashed in his eyes. He gently held her hand and whispered, "Emily, don't get close to him. His darkness will devour you and make you lost in the endless night."
She didn't respond, but just looked at him silently, her heart full of complicated emotions. She knew that she could no longer simply withdraw from the two of them. Her fate had been drawn into an uncontrollable vortex, and the only thing she could do was to follow her heart and touch the unknown darkness.
Chapter Four
As autumn deepened, the forest surrounding the castle donned a cloak of gold and crimson. Yet Emily felt none of the season's warmth. Since that night's revelation, her mind had been in constant turmoil, with Lucas's truth and Draco's temptation intertwining like two serpents in her thoughts, leaving her breathless.
That evening, Emily found herself alone in the castle's library, searching through ancient tomes for any mention of werewolves and vampires. As she focused on a yellowed manuscript, the air suddenly turned cold. Looking up, she found Draco standing across from her, his appearance as silent as shadow.
"Seeking truth, my dear Emily?" Draco leaned elegantly against the bookshelf, wearing a deep purple silk shirt that made his skin appear even paler. "But you know, written accounts are often one-sided."
Emily instinctively stepped back. "Why do you always appear like this? It's unsettling."
Draco chuckled softly, moving toward her with fluid grace. "Because I enjoy seeing you startled. It makes you even more enticing." His fingers traced her cheek, the cold touch making her shiver. "Lucas told you I'm merely using you, but did he mention that his fate is actually a chain binding him?"
Emily froze. "What do you mean?"
"The werewolves' so-called destined mates are nothing but constraints in their bloodline," Draco's voice carried a hypnotic power. "They're forced to love someone, forced to protect them. Isn't that tragic? While I..." his gaze deepened, "I choose you because I'm truly drawn to you."
A low growl suddenly echoed from the doorway. Lucas stood there, his eyes now golden, filled with rage. "Step away from her, Draco!" His voice carried an unmistakable threat.
Instead of retreating, Draco pulled Emily closer. "Why so angry, Lucas? Is it because I spoke the truth, or because you fear she might choose me?"
The tension in the air grew thick enough to cut. Emily could feel the energy between the two men threatening to tear the room apart. Lucas's body trembled as he fought to control the beast within.
"Enough!" Emily suddenly shouted, "What am I to both of you? Some trophy to be won?" Her voice carried both anger and hurt.
Both men froze. Pain flashed across Lucas's eyes, while Draco's expression turned contemplative.
Emily pushed away from Draco and walked toward the door, but paused beside Lucas. "You say I'm your destiny, but have you considered my feelings?" Her voice was soft but accusatory. "And you, Draco, if you truly cared for me, you wouldn't use me as a weapon against him."
She hurried from the library, and only when she reached the corridor did her tears finally fall. She didn't know whom to trust - Lucas, chosen by fate, or Draco, who chose her himself? More importantly, she began to question whether she truly understood her own heart.
As night fell, Emily stood on her balcony. Wolves howled in the distant forest, while somewhere in the castle, she thought she heard the flutter of bat wings. Everything reminded her that she stood at the crossroads between two worlds, and she had to make a choice.
Then she noticed items on the balcony railing: a rose as black as night with a blood-red sheen - Draco's mark. Beside it lay a wolf fang necklace, a werewolf protection charm, obviously left by Lucas.
Emily gently touched both items, her internal conflict growing stronger. She knew that choosing either would alter her destiny forever. But more importantly, she needed to understand what her heart truly desired.
As moonlight bathed the castle grounds, Emily realized that her decision wouldn't just be about choosing between two men - it was about choosing what kind of life she wanted, and more importantly, who she wanted to become.
Chapter Five
The following days in the castle were filled with an unbearable tension. Emily found herself constantly caught between shadows and silence, between warmth and cold. Every corner seemed to hold either Lucas's protective presence or Draco's seductive whispers. The weight of their attention was becoming increasingly suffocating.
One particularly cold morning, Emily discovered a mysterious leather-bound book in the library's restricted section. Its pages contained ancient prophecies about the eternal conflict between werewolves and vampires. As she read, her hands trembling, she found something that made her blood run cold.
'When the moon bleeds red and the night grows teeth, a choice will be made that breaks the ancient cycle. A mortal's heart shall tip the balance, bringing either eternal darkness or salvation to both races.'
"Interesting reading material," Leila's voice suddenly came from behind. Lucas's sister moved like a ghost, her silver eyes holding centuries of wisdom. "I've been waiting for you to find this."
Emily closed the book carefully. "Is this... about me?"
Leila's expression remained enigmatic. "The prophecy speaks of a mortal who stands between our worlds. But prophecies, dear Emily, are like rivers - they show the destination, but the path taken is always your choice."
"What happens if I choose wrong?" Emily's voice wavered.
"There is no wrong choice, only consequences," Leila replied, her voice gentle but firm. "But I must warn you - the blood moon approaches, and with it, a moment of truth that will change everything."
Before Emily could ask more questions, a commotion erupted from the castle grounds. They rushed to the window to see Lucas and Draco facing each other in the courtyard, their postures tense with barely contained violence.
"You've crossed the line, Draco," Lucas's voice carried up to them, filled with fury. "You dare to mark our territory?"
Draco's laugh was cold and mocking. "Territory? This stopped being about territory the moment she arrived. Or are you afraid she's already choosing me?"
Emily watched in horror as Lucas's form began to shift, his muscles rippling beneath his clothes. The morning sun caught his golden eyes, now burning with primal rage. Draco's own transformation was more subtle - his pale skin taking on an otherworldly sheen, his movements becoming impossibly fluid.
"Stop!" Emily's voice rang out across the courtyard. Both men froze, their attention snapping to her window. "This has to end!"
She turned to rush downstairs, but Leila caught her arm. "Be careful, Emily. The blood moon is three days away. Under its light, both races lose control of their darker natures. And you..." she paused meaningfully, "you will be at your most vulnerable."
When Emily reached the courtyard, the tension was thick enough to choke on. Lucas immediately moved to her side, his protective instinct evident in every motion. But it was Draco who spoke first.
"My apologies for the disturbance, dear Emily," his voice was silk over steel. "But perhaps it's time you understood the full scope of what you're involved in." He pulled an ancient medallion from his coat. "This belongs to your grandmother. She wasn't just any woman - she was a guardian, keeper of the balance between our races."
Emily's world tilted. "My grandmother? But she died when I was young..."
"She was murdered," Lucas cut in, his voice heavy with old pain. "By those who wanted to destroy the peace between our kinds. And now, as her descendant, you inherit her role - and her enemies."
The revelation hit Emily like a physical blow. Suddenly, everything made more sense - the mysterious circumstances that led her to the castle, both men's intense interest in her, the prophecy. She wasn't just caught between two supernatural beings; she was part of an ancient legacy.
"The blood moon comes," Draco said softly, his eyes locked on Emily. "And with it, powers long dormant will awaken. You'll need to choose not just between us, Emily, but between two paths for both our races."
As if in response to his words, clouds gathered overhead, casting strange shadows across the courtyard. Emily felt something stir within her, something old and powerful, like a sleeping giant finally beginning to wake.
Lucas moved closer, his warmth a stark contrast to the chill air. "Whatever you choose, Emily, know that my protection isn't just about fate or duty anymore. It's about-"
But before he could finish, a piercing scream cut through the air. All three turned to see Leila collapsed at the castle entrance, her silver eyes wide with terror as she pointed at the sky.
"It's coming," she gasped. "The blood moon... it's coming early. And with it, they're returning - the ones who killed your grandmother. They're coming for Emily."
In that moment, as Emily looked between Lucas and Draco, she realized that her choice might not be about love at all - it might be about survival.
8 Tahun
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8 tahun
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Seorang wanita kecil, yang berarti aku tidak dibesarkan untuk melawan. Jadi ketika anak baru dari kota mendorong adikku dari sepedanya dan membawa kakinya kembali, meregangkan lubang di lutut celana jeansnya yang robek, aku tidak tahu apa yang harus kulakukan.
Aku hanya berdiri di sini dan melihat saat dia menendang rusuk adikku tiga kali, membuatnya terengah-engah dan tersedak. Saya tidak tahu mengapa dia melakukannya. Kakakku tidak melakukan apa-apa terhadap anak ini dan aku tahu karena aku sahabat kakakku dan kami selalu bersama. Kakakku tidak pernah melakukan apa pun kepada siapa pun.
"Pussy," anak laki-laki itu menggeram dan meludah. Air liurnya yang putih dan berbuih mengenai leher kakakku saat dia menangis dan memeluk tulang rusuknya.
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Aku ingin menolong saudaraku, kembaranku, tapi aku tidak bisa membuat diriku bahkan untuk bersuara.
Anak laki-laki itu mendorong rambut coklatnya yang panjang dan sulit diatur keluar dari wajahnya. Rambutnya kusut dan berantakan, tetapi masih terlihat begitu halus dan mengkilap, dan memiliki helai-helai emas yang melaluinya, seperti taburan pasir di atas tanah.
"Apa yang kau lihat?" geramnya padaku, mengangkat sepeda kakakku dari tanah dan memasangnya.
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Tapi saudaraku... dia terluka. Aku juga harus menyakiti anak ini.
"Sepedaku," Matthew, adikku mengomel.
"Katakan pada ibumu untuk menjual payudara plastiknya dan membelikanmu sepeda motor yang lain," anak laki-laki itu membalas, menyeringai sambil memutar pegangan karet, membuat telapak tangannya menjadi putih. Apakah dia berpura-pura mengendarai sepeda motor? Saya melihat kukunya dan menarik wajah jijik. Dia penggigit kuku. Kebiasaan yang menjijikkan. Mee-maw memukul tanganku dengan tongkat jika aku berpikir untuk meletakkan jari-jariku di dekat mulutku.
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"Kau beritahu siapa pun tentang aku, Imogen Hardy dan aku akan memberitahu kakekmu bahwa kau menunjukkan celana dalammu padaku."
Rahangku menyentuh lantai dan mataku dipenuhi dengan air mata yang membara.
Dia menertawakan reaksiku dan bersepeda pergi, mengayuh sepeda kakakku seperti dia telah mengendarainya selama bertahun-tahun, bukan beberapa detik. Kami melihatnya menyusuri jalan tanah, debu menendang dari roda belakang dalam awan kejahatan di belakangnya.
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"Aku tidak tahu," jawabku, memeriksa tulang rusuknya ketika dia mengangkat kemeja kuningnya. Ada bengkak ungu jelek di sisinya. "Ayo kita pulang."
"Jangan beritahu Mee-maw."
"Dia akan bertanya-tanya ke mana motor Anda sampai."
"mKimta NakaXny m_eOmybóiarÉkannkyxaG zbexrpi)k'iRrM ba&hwUa QsepneFdad ituc FdicuZriq KdaarniF ugudanrg."
"Tapi-"
"Tidak, Immy. Jangan bilang. Oke?"
Sambil mengerutkan kening, aku mengangguk. Terlalu muda untuk mengerti mengapa kakakku tidak mau memberitahu seseorang yang bisa melakukan sesuatu tentang Kane dan apa yang dilakukannya. Sepertinya sangat tidak adil.
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"Bagaimana bisa kau seusiaku tapi jauh lebih pintar dariku?" Saya bertanya, cemberut. "Dan lebih berani."
Dia menggelengkan kepalanya dan mengusap-usap sisinya. Saya bisa melihat betapa sakitnya setiap langkahnya. "Aku tidak berani, Immy."
Bagiku dia adalah anak laki-laki paling berani di seluruh dunia.
26 Tahun
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26 tahun
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Orang dengan lidah yang kejam.
Yang dulu aku suka membenci... dan sekarang aku hanya membenci dan aku tidak menyukainya sama sekali. Tidak ada yang baik tentang kebencian yang saya rasakan terhadap pria ini. Ia tidak membuat saya senang, atau sakit, atau emosi apapun, bahkan kemarahan sekalipun. Pengaturan standar saya untuknya adalah kebencian dan akan tetap seperti itu selamanya.
Aku melewati toko-toko yang tampak semi sibuk di New Hope Road, sambil berpikir itu seharusnya jalan harapan palsu. Atau lubang harapan palsu di tanah. Tempat ini memiliki settingan default keputusasaan di hati saya. Apa yang dulunya adalah masa kecil saya yang luar biasa, dengan cepat menjadi latar untuk semua hal buruk yang pernah terjadi pada saya.
SayÉam 'meTlivhJatO (orayng-!o'rvaPn'gY miexliPhxat kHei aVrKaPhu saaya, CsÉeoratnBgc UaSnuaXkg meAnuRn*jMuMk OkYe aJraph_ !maobil SsaOya). XMVobéilS inié Dme$nt_erSenYg,& hargan!yla saaéngat XmdaThqa^l,ó Ydannn NtidZaXk di(bujat. unétZu^k PjJalanManZ bSeXrdeb.u( iNnki.c MobDiCl* NiKnBi psetrluz driibelrsCiPhkVan^ WsetbeklWum OsayÉa xsqampFaiq Bk$e usjqunnIg éjalAaln dtaJn saUyat baru LmemWbersMihkbanOnTya Édalasmn pefryjxa*lanJanF k&eT kfomtva Zpzagii _inió. SebVua!hi aRla!saMnI ,uénStuxk m)enjunsda hal _yan'gN tTakv Nt.ererlVak$kan.
Telepon saya mulai berdering, itu Webber. Aku tidak menjawab. Aku tidak ingin bicara sekarang; lebih baik dia mengira aku sudah ada di sana meskipun sebenarnya tidak.
Aku terlambat.
Aku tidak pernah terlambat tapi aku hampir tidak datang meskipun aku harus datang. Saya tidak bisa tidak berada di sini. Saya harus berada di sini.
ABku _hDanrusC kmRenghuécXaPpik!aRn NscelamjaVt tbinggCa)l.
Tempat parkir penuh dengan kendaraan, mobil-mobil berdampingan di atas permukaan kerikil. Bayangan yang tidak menyenangkan dari gereja dan menara gereja mengarah ke satu-satunya ruang yang tersisa. Saya tidak menggunakannya. Saya parkir di tepi berumput di samping gereja, sedekat mungkin dengan gereja. Saya mungkin akan ditilang jika satu-satunya sipir lalu lintas di kota itu tidak ada di dalam untuk mengucapkan selamat tinggal.
Saya keluar dari mobil saya, tumit runcing saya berderak di atas batu-batu bulat yang tidak rata yang mengarah ke pintu gereja yang tertutup. Sepertinya saya harus membuat pintu masuk.
9 Tahun
==========
9 tahun
==========
KagneR tbeOrQgabunGgb dern&gfan sSeQk.olaGh ZkXa!miI tenamR bzulsani yang dlaDllu danr ^méeskiHpunw QsaemOuag Kyiang vdViav &l*akuOkian éad)alRaAh m!enMimSbulk&a*n* Qmqams*arlMah; tiKdak aMdra yanDgX msenpgusiGrSnyóa.' iKiazkekH HmenYgatakaAn ibtuX karie'nSaj ayaLhGnyóa Om^eVmilCikNi hjuGbyuln!ganI dKen!gamn_ dqisdtr.ikn Odajn KkaneX méemnRdapaYt) iMzfin WbWepbasW.) pSNayha tFid*aBkC !tahSu HaApNaN hart$incyMa itu) Mselb(enarPnyab tapIiZ jsaya tGiLdajkP HberpkikiSr Éikt_u h^aLl yan!g ,baVik.
Dia adalah anak laki-laki terburuk yang pernah saya temui dengan tidak senang sepanjang hidup saya. Ketidaksenangan adalah kata baru yang kupelajari tepat sebelum Kane menancapkan pensil di bagian belakang gaunku pada periode terakhir. Dia selalu melakukan hal-hal seperti itu.
Dia mendorongku minggu lalu saat istirahat juga. Pantatku terluka dan telapak tanganku terserempet. Dia pikir itu lucu karena gaun baruku robek.
"Tunjukkan celana dalammu," katanya ketika saya membersihkan diri. Mengapa ada orang yang ingin melihat celana dalam polkadot kuning dan merah muda saya sangat aneh. Dan juga menjijikkan. Mee-maw selalu berkata jangan pernah menunjukkan kemaluanmu kepada siapa pun, terutama anak laki-laki atau laki-laki. Katanya, anak laki-laki punya setan di dalam diri mereka dan kemaluan seorang gadis membuat setan itu lapar.
SayPa tXi_dak Xtahuk jmenqgapa dida mtelYa)ku.kan h*aOl-rhaLl irniy kze*padya ssaya; SNaLyia tidbakF ztNaJhVup ap)ai ya&nUg Ipe,rónqahU smaTyyaF ÉlakukXaSn* 'pLaadaJnryCas JuantQu'kP mMembuatónIypa IbÉeIgihtu keRjaCm.h *DicaV ZselaYlu tmelakumkannZyaf keépaVday kakak*ku ajuégav, tUetapi chanya ketvirkjap dia AbersWamlaYk&u, ljéajdjim óshekca_raGnMgK b^ashGk.a(n sMYatthWetw tkidaDk bQerbjikcyarra qkepadtaku* di sdekolarhy.
"Kau sangat jelek, kau membuat mataku ingin berguling ke planet lain," desisnya di telingaku setelah menarik kepangan rambutku dan menarik kepalaku ke belakang dengan keras hingga aku hampir terjungkal ke belakang.
Aku tidak menanggapi, aku hanya merengut di mejaku, berharap aku cukup kuat untuk menyakitinya kembali, untuk menarik rambut bodohnya dan mengatakan hal-hal yang kejam. Mee-maw mengatakan jika saya mengabaikannya, dia akan berhenti, tetapi sudah enam bulan saya mengabaikannya dan dia belum berhenti. Dia tidak pernah berhenti.
"Kau baik-baik saja?" teman terdekatku, Poppy-Rose yang kukenal sejak TK bertanya dengan berbisik ketika aku menjentikkan pensil dengan kedua tanganku.
"Tid&ak.&"
"Dia melakukannya karena dia menyukaimu," katanya, mengulangi apa yang dikatakan mertua saya ketika saya bertanya mengapa dia begitu jahat.
"Kalau begitu dia harus tidak menyukaiku," aku menggertak, mengacaukan pekerjaanku menjadi bola dan merengut.
Ini adalah pikiran bodoh yang membuat saya tidak senang karena jika dia menyukai saya, mengapa dia menyakiti saya dan saudara saya? Dan semua orang lain juga, tapi dia tampaknya sangat suka menyakiti saya, dan para guru tidak pernah melakukan apa-apa.
T.eYrakIhir ka_lhiJ hspayIaC mSengcaIduJ paGdianyPa, dUia Tmel^e&mlpqaSrJkzanw PraOnsvel zsfaóyAaD yke dOaglafm kolamj ren)aan_g LsekWolkaqhn danL mendoZr'olngZ kaókzaki swayFa xswe^t*elóa*hdnNyéa.U !UNntFunKgngyia kakakS saIyGaO biKsma !belrenqanGg, gKyakcek _mIeng.ajóarFin(yaF muFsiÉm paón_asg laól^u.z _SDayqa hhauréus bfexl^agjaQr merryeLn&daH 'dÉe&n&gka$n nMeej-mTauws dKan sbayab rbeÉnaar-bqenZaQrH Vmemb(egn$cWinqya. xSayba 'i^ngi*n bGelBajarh be(rAe_navnIg,U )iTtxuO UséanVgaYt tjiydaPk awd_il.
"Apakah kamu akan memberitahu Tuan Beecham?" Poppy berbisik, mencondongkan tubuhnya sedekat mungkin.
Aku menggelengkan kepalaku dan membuka halaman yang bersih.
"Kau tidak bisa membiarkan dia melakukan itu."
"jAwkvu jtaÉh,uw,p" Qaku me,nlg$gerDamd !daAn zbelrÉgetserA GmVenpjauh. "TinggpalLkarn afku senLdFiBri.."
26 Tahun
==========
26 tahun
==========
PinjtuSnXya jtid^ak teérXkun*c_iz k$e(tQikwa Msaya mxend!oRrNoknxgnyZa ydyengiaHn kaera.só s'apmbinló mtKeyrYsen_yum patdax saOliObI tyerhbajlAickC Nyanng Gma_swiÉh atNerryuIkirO sdHir pOermIuka.annyaz,_ s.eVbuah) épe&nKgLiOnVgaVtK ^akan( hari-bhar)i tyangZ sQayna &piwkiré sTayfa aJdalÉahw sesuJatRuV yaung ktzanéggFush daÉnG g.acnÉas,. SOaya GhanyXaólakh) seorcang pto)s(ejr, m^eYl'emyparknanC bYerRat bZandKanH CsatymaF kae^ méanPa*-Jmmaón'a* KyiasnHgV tuiódwafkó pue'nrtinRg.h tSBesu'atTu yaJnRg harvuisY kKutbayar maphagl.z
Pintu berderit saat terbuka ke lobi di mana tiga pintu kaca ganda berjejer di setiap dinding di sekitarnya.
Saya melihat orang-orang melihat melalui kaca dari tempat duduk mereka, tubuh mereka meliuk-liuk saat mereka mencoba mencari tahu siapa yang ada di sini.
Terlambat untuk kembali sekarang.
Say!a bxaKhzkóakn _t(iédaBk! nmerhaQsYa sedFikiDt^ zpfunp VgXuVgtup )aGtGaGu Cm)eCnyeswal tce,lahr GmeNng,g^a&nggLuk.Q ASejLutjlurnyaD, ^saya tRikdaZk^ .p)eduQliT WsBamaZ sekbarliy.
Mendorong pintu di sebelah kanan, tumit saya berbunyi klik ketika saya melangkah masuk ke dalam ruangan yang penuh sesak dengan komunitas saya sebelumnya.
Aku melihat ibuku di depan, dengan mata berkaca-kaca dengan tisu menempel di hidungnya, aku melihat tetangga lamaku dan penjaga toko, dan pria yang mengantarkan koran ke rumah kami setiap hari sampai cucunya mengambil alih. Saya juga melihat cucunya.
Semua orang dari masa lalu saya duduk di ruangan ini.
SFeseoraBngI dmkenqgaVmlbDilkganr YbolmÉ ucnt^uk agadKis. Oiznij.
Aku mengangkat daguku ketika keheningan yang mati dipotong dengan bisikan-bisikan tajam. Ada yang bertanya siapa saya, ada yang bertanya apakah itu benar-benar saya, saya mendengar mereka mengatakan saya terlihat berbeda, saya mendengar mereka menghina keterlambatan saya, saya mendengar yang lain membela saya karena saya pasti bingung.
Ketika akhirnya saya sampai di depan, saya membuat titik untuk duduk jauh dari ibu saya. Saya tidak mengakui Pastor David atau bahkan meminta maaf karena telah mengganggu. Sepertinya dia sudah cukup jauh ke dalam kebaktian.
Dia juga tidak mengakui saya, begitu juga dengan teman terdekat wanita jalang itu yang biasa membuat kue kering paling buruk yang pernah saya coba. Gigiku patah gara-gara kue-kue itu ketika aku berusia sekitar tujuh tahun. Dia duduk di sebelah kiriku, menangis, sementara ibuku terus mencondongkan badan ke depan untuk mencoba melihatku sekilas atau melakukan kontak mata setidaknya di antara lima orang di antara kami.
SayaZ munOgCkki(n& ÉseKhuarNuds'n!yuag dudju&kK wdiA Ube'lakaCnhgj tcetahpVi rs'ayéa JinMgkidn 'memóbÉu&a*t FpezrknyÉattaan. Saya( inginc merWeka^ meólih&aÉt IsaDya. den.gayn kaepaNlam Utxeqgak.
"Di mana kita tadi?" Pastor David memanggil dan bisikan-bisikan itu perlahan-lahan melayang pergi.
Saya mendengarkannya terus menerus tentang bagaimana Yesus memanggil jalang tua dan bagaimana surga memiliki malaikat baru dan banyak omong kosong palsu lainnya yang saya benci untuk duduk di sini dan mendengarkannya.
"Adakah yang ingin menyampaikan beberapa patah kata untuk menghormati anggota gereja dan komunitas kita yang tercinta?"
TOe*ntCux sMaIj.az Usip tukóang MroUt)i spiBall.an Rdqik GsqeYbelaXh kLihrXiM sanyya rberdZiHrZis dIawn umeQngDk'l$ik kRlaRksson meznujQuC wke$ bauldaNs.
Saya mencoba untuk tidak muntah saat dia memberikan rendisi yang penuh air mata tentang kehidupan nenek saya dengan kebohongan dan pujian yang berlebihan, dan pengakuan cinta dan kesetiaan yang berlebihan.
Ibuku selanjutnya, terisak-isak seolah-olah dia tidak pernah peduli dengan nenek tua itu. Pelacur bermuka dua hanya menginginkan apa yang ada dalam surat wasiat nenekku.
Jari-jariku bergerak-gerak saat aku gelisah.
Ini. Domong iko&sMong),Q aMkul tiÉdlaUkr b,isa$ UmIeólVakvuBkacn iMnbi(.
Aku berdiri, memotong ibuku dan meluncur keluar dari bangku sebaik mungkin dengan begitu banyak kaki yang menghalangi jalanku.
"Kau mau ke mana, Imogen?" Pastor David bertanya dengan lembut, berpura-pura menjadi penggembala yang baik hati dari dombanya. "Tinggallah, nenekmu pasti ingin kau mengucapkan selamat tinggal."
"Nenekku tidak ingin aku mengatakan omong kosong," aku membalas dan separuh ruangan terkesiap.
"Aku Ql(ihaGt idiaL xtFidVaCkt GkbephPiZl(aPn,g.asnw rsMoÉpasnm csabntMuOnlnéyTa yaDnVg b.u)ruók,i"I sbeZseora(nXgI wmme.ncdIeszimsz t,api* taRkAu txidaYkS mkeYngéhiAróaBukCan CmberekfaM.I
"Mari kita jaga bahasa kita di rumah Tuhan ini."
Saya memutar mata saya. "Itulah mengapa saya pergi."
"Aku tahu ini menyakitkan, kembali ke sini, bersama dengan kita semua setelah semua yang telah kau lalui dan kehilangan-"
SeRbgeluSm QsRaya fmHe!ngatadkyan Dsesduvaatuc FyFa&nóg muwngvk,iBnp tid&a,kI qakIan pGecrznHah OsJayqam sWesalPiZ tVetapUi s!aMypaq KtYahMu psOayóa tVidapk KboHlbeRh m*eungataókainnXyqa, ósaWya mre$m(utaur tumit ksayjar wdran YmcenujuR pintu kacOa ganFd,a.i
"Imogen," Panggil Pastor David. "Ucapkan selamat tinggal, ini satu-satunya kesempatan yang akan kau dapatkan."
Saya berhenti, kemarahan menggelegak di bawah permukaan, tangan mengepal, wajah terbakar. "Jika kau yakin."
"Aku yakin." Senyumnya lembut dan penuh pengertian, seolah-olah dia mengerti apa pun ketika dia sama sekali tidak mengerti apa-apa. "Ayo. Bicarakan cintamu pada nenekmu sebelum terlambat."
DeMng$anJ KpFu,tarRanX wymaéng Aang*gun, sZaqykaY ber^bDariHs mkewmbaVlni *khe d)epWaZnk QdóaBn itbMum Usa'ya ctIurun, tihda$k! d$aJpatP ymeuna)tsaap vmatIa ysaya. SayTa vmeÉnaiVkiG UbdebVeradpa anjakd VttaSnggal dMaén kmesnyapa puaDrVan pAenggéeJméaAr( pyaJngk WmemÉujma sayaN.
"Kau yang meminta ini," kataku kepada pria itu dengan senyum sinis dan dia jatuh saat kesalahannya meresap ke dalam kulitnya yang tebal dan kasar. "Apa yang harus saya katakan?" Pertanyaan ini diajukan lebih kepada diri saya sendiri daripada orang lain.
"Bersikaplah baik," ibuku berkata padaku tapi aku memberinya burung dan paduan suara kecil kemarahan mengisi keheningan.
"Lihat itu." Saya melambaikan tangan pada ibu saya dan menyapa kerumunan yang "memuja". "Bukankah ibuku seperti chip dari blok tua. Menyuruhku untuk bersikap baik. Apapun maksudmu, Ma? Alasan apa yang baik yang mungkin bisa saya miliki untuk tidak bersikap baik?"
Past$or )DavigdK Amelangkma^hI Okea arazh&ku, tKidaWkS _labgiz tZerqliUh,atQ menvang 'kyaQrvena twelvahw mheng)ubXaóhb kePpjuQt^uBsanku.M "fMu.ngukiWnÉ k$ita FhJarVus-"y
Aku mengangkat tangan untuk memotongnya. "Aku berusia tiga tahun ketika Ibu meninggalkanku pada seorang wanita yang dibencinya, seorang wanita yang menyiksanya saat ia tumbuh dewasa... bisa kau bayangkan? Menjadi begitu kacau oleh seseorang dan kemudian menyerahkan bayi-bayimu kepadanya untuk juga menjadi kacau." Saya tidak mengatakannya dengan baik tetapi saya marah dan emosional dan mereka meminta ini.
"Mee-maw," saya melanjutkan dengan getir, "seperti mercusuar harapan yang cerah di masyarakat, bukan? Dia membesarkan anak-anak semua orang. Dia membuat kue dan tersenyum dan menjadi pembawa acara. Dia sangat sopan dan pantas dan mengenakan pakaian yang disetrika dengan sempurna dan tidak pernah menunjukkan pergelangan kakinya. Dia mengajari kami semua benar dan salah seperti siapa yang harus bermain dengan siapa, siapa yang tidak boleh bermain dengan siapa, siapa yang sampah dan siapa yang tidak... dan hal terbaik yang pernah dia ajarkan padaku." Sarkasme saya sama jelasnya dengan kemarahan saya. "Sesuatu yang selalu dia katakan padaku..." Aku memindai ruangan, tidak mencari wajah tertentu, lega ketika aku tidak menemukan wajah yang akan selalu kusangkal pernah kucari. "Jika kau tidak punya sesuatu yang baik untuk dikatakan, jangan katakan apapun. Tapi aku tidak pernah mendengarkan si tikus tua itu."
Ada helaan napas kolektif yang hanya menghentikanku sementara aku menikmati dan membiarkannya meruncing. Ayah memanjat dan meraih lenganku, dia pasti mengira aku bingung tapi sebenarnya tidak. Sejujurnya saya tidak pernah lebih bahagia.
"JasdiM DaZkWuN akaQn ymbeUnbgXatakan apva $yangp ivngPivn ku.kaKta&kanj danW kelmudtia^nq ak_u Éa$kacn pceqr*gyi fdarWib k_o!tva rsi$a.ldann &iPni' nyanégi me_nghfaón(cuwrvkUankuB d'an seUmXua oLrjan^gh LyanVgI gpefrbnah knucintqaCik."$ AZkwuO fm*elihatn lWaDnpgsMuzn,g ke !pweti AmaVt!i éputQih Bdih xb,eClakang*kWu dan mbenyNa!takéanI,H "M(eDe-TmTaxw, karur sTeWoran_g p_eVlac$urq tuXa.t".
Lebih banyak terengah-engah terjadi dan Ayah yang tersendat-sendat. Para ibu meletakkan tangan mereka di atas telinga anak-anak mereka.
"Aku membencimu saat itu, aku membencimu sekarang dan aku harap jiwamu tetap terkunci di dalam tubuhmu saat belatung dan cacing berpesta denganmu perlahan-lahan. Aku harap kau merasakan setiap detik dari proses pembusukan yang membantu bumi untuk mendapatkan kembali dirimu." Saya melihat ke ruangan yang berisi wajah-wajah yang familiar dan asing yang menatapku dengan ngeri. "Kau tidak tahu mee-maw yang sebenarnya. Kalian tidak akan pernah tahu mee-maw yang sebenarnya dan untuk itu, aku iri pada kalian semua."
Kemudian saya menjatuhkan bayangan saya, melompat turun dari langkan kayu dan melangkah menyusuri lorong tengah.
Aók&u bOeUrhvasiÉlé. S)aQyal mFeqnzgucabpkUan selUamatG tsi_nygGgaUl.G
"Kunyahlah sabun, dasar perempuan tua," desis saya sambil membanting pintu kaca di belakang saya.
9 Dan Setengah.
==========
9 setengah.
==========
-)----t----$-
Setengahnya penting.
----------
"Kenapa kau mengundangnya?" Aku mendesis pada Poppy ketika Kane duduk di dinding yang melapisi arena ice-skating.
"MTGidyack,"é deDsYiysdnya MkHembaKli!, memDeNlGototiM CKTanieT yIanÉg kpinZip dUikeAlilSi!ngTi tÉeFmanR-ytemanBnya. "lIabu, cyanÉg mNeSlNaXku$kanFnSya, JsLayIaK p&igkir.& LDiag bveZrteamyadn tdReJnIgDank mazyRahtnQyaG sbe_k!ar(a^ng."
Semua orang berteman dengan ayah Kane. Dia membuat dan menjual sepeda, atau semacamnya. Mereka memiliki toko yang sangat besar dengan sejuta sepeda motor dan sekitar seratus orang selalu berkendara melalui kota dengan mesin-mesin besar yang bodoh dan membuat banyak kebisingan.
Orang-orang bergegas ke luar untuk menonton mereka, Kakek berkata bahwa mereka melindungi kota kami dari orang-orang jahat tapi Mee-maw mengatakan bahwa mereka adalah orang-orang jahat. Mee-maw mengatakan orang-orang seperti kita tidak bergaul dengan orang-orang seperti mereka. Saya tidak tahu apa maksudnya tapi saya akan tetap mendengarkan.
Dia bilang mereka pemuja setan, tapi Kakek bilang dia hanya menjadi orang yang sibuk. Kakek selalu mengatakan hal itu tentangnya ketika dia mendapat lebah di kap mesinnya, yang mana itu sering terjadi. Apalagi sekarang dia menjadi anggota komite gereja dan dia adalah orang penting. Dia berusaha agar sepeda motor dilarang masuk ke dalam kota. Saya rasa dia tidak tahu bahwa Kakek adalah seorang penggemar sepeda motor. Aku tidak tahu apa artinya itu, tapi aku tahu dia menyukai sepeda dan itulah sebutannya untuk dirinya sendiri, tapi itu rahasia kami. Aku tidak bisa memberitahu Mee-maw dan tidak akan pernah.
DniDaD be'rbohVong Fk^ephaUdBa M)e.e-UmaVwK JtvenAtanrg k!etmDanra kamih peOrgti Dmsianggcuc jlAalu ufntAuk $m^eVl&ihyaYtQ Hm!ot&or be'sqar y^anZg dfiaD ssePbutV HpaYrUleKy. qD,iwa* billYaéng dZu_lWu wdióa. meCnpg$endagrai mOoKt.otr dserpeDrtzi iini wbe(rsnama kxakemk Kane, (t)arpPi$ itu sudRabhv *lamWam s_eRkGalcim JdéaTnH UkakevkF Kqane s^udRah JmrerniDnIgsgal sme_kWara,n,gQ.$
Pasti sudah sangat lama sekali karena dia sudah sangat tua dan foto yang saya lihat tentang dia di atas sepeda di rumah, dia memiliki kuncir kuda hitam. Saya belum pernah melihat kakek saya dengan rambut perak.
Dia meninggalkan saya dengan mesin untuk pergi minum-minum dengan ayah Kane di kantor dan saat itulah saya melihat Kane dan teman-temannya bersepeda di jalan, mereka semua adalah satu geng. Kane mengira dia seperti ayahnya tapi dia hanya anak punk dengan iblis di dalam dirinya. Aku membencinya.
Saya bersembunyi di belakang Harley saat mereka lewat dan kemudian berlari masuk ke dalam begitu cepat untuk mengunci diri di toilet ketika saya tahu Kane tidak bisa melihat saya lagi. Aku tinggal di sana sampai seseorang mengetuk pintu, karena mereka mungkin membutuhkan toilet dan karena aku tidak ingin mendapat masalah, aku memutuskan untuk pergi.
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"Pikir kamu bisa bersembunyi dariku, Immy?"
"Ini Imogen!" Tanganku mengepal di sisiku saat aku mundur darinya, bertanya-tanya apakah dia akan memukulku, atau menarik rambutku, atau mendorongku. "Keluar."
"Tidak sampai kau menunjukkan celana dalammu." Dia menyeringai dan mendorong rambutnya yang kusut dari wajahnya. Terlalu panjang untuk seorang anak laki-laki. Mee-maw mengatakan bahwa Setan sendiri memiliki rambut coklat panjang seperti Kane dan ayahnya. "Bobby-Ray bilang kau selalu menunjukkan celana dalammu padanya."
"$B)oXbb^yn-RaVy) WajdJa.llaóh^ Jpe_mpboÉhNonXg dOan TuOhanÉ akanQ mNengChWukbuBmnpya$."
"Tuhan tidak nyata, Immy. Sama seperti Santa."
"Santa terlalu nyata!" Aku berteriak, merasakan pipiku memanas dengan kemarahan yang sudah biasa yang hanya kurasakan di sekelilingnya.
"Tidak, dia tidak nyata," teriaknya kembali, memegang bahuku dan meremas dengan jari-jarinya yang kurus. Itu sakit, tetap sakit selama dua hari penuh setelahnya. "Santa tidak nyata, kelinci Paskah tidak nyata, peri gigimu tidak nyata dan ibumu adalah pelacur yang tidak mencintaimu!"
"JarnganB b$iLcaIra ltenHtamngT ibUuyktu.z"
"Kau seorang pemimpi, nak," geramnya, mengguncang-guncang saya begitu keras sehingga kepala saya mulai berdebar-debar. "Kau seorang pemimpi dan tak seorang pun menginginkanmu. Kau sampah. Kau tidak akan menjadi kotoran! Kau akan tumbuh menjadi pengisap ayam seperti ibumu dan tak seorangpun akan mencintaimu!"
"KANE JESSUP!" Ayah Kane membentak dan wajah Kane berubah dari sinis menjadi ngeri dalam sekejap. "APA YANG KAU PIKIR SEDANG KAU LAKUKAN?"
"Kami hanya bermain," Kane berbohong, segera berbalik tapi ayahnya sudah memegang rambutnya. Dia melempar Kane dari ruangan itu begitu keras sehingga Kane tersandung dan bertabrakan dengan kakekku yang memelototinya seolah-olah dia hanyalah sampah. Dia adalah sampah. Sampah yang paling bau.
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Aku ingin tahu mengapa ibunya tidak berguna tapi aku tidak bertanya. Saya hanya pindah ke kakek saya dan memeluk sisinya.
"Aku tidak melakukan apa-apa," teriak Kane, tampak marah, dan ayahnya menampar bagian belakang kepalanya.
Kakek dan ayahnya saling memandang sebelum kami semua berjalan pergi. Kane menatapku dengan tatapan keras saat ayahnya mencengkeram kerah bajunya dan aku tahu aku akan mengalaminya. Aku tahu aku berada di dalamnya untuk itu besar.
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Dia menatapku dan mencibir saat Poppy membetulkan ikat kepalanya yang baru saja dia dapatkan dariku untuk ulang tahunnya.
"Ayo berseluncur," perintahnya, mengulurkan tangannya padaku dan kami berputar-putar, cekikikan dan bergoyang-goyang di atas es.
Kane, secara mengejutkan, meninggalkan saya sendirian sepanjang malam.
Jika sXaHja &siAsfa Fhi_djup, suayLaR .bBiCsyaY psamaq.
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