Konuşulmayan Gizli Duygular

Chapter One

The body lay in perfect repose on the Victorian fainting couch, looking more like a sleeping beauty than a victim. Detective Sarah Chen had seen enough death in her ten years with the Metropolitan Police's Special Cases Unit to know that natural death never looked this peaceful. Something was very, very wrong.

        'No signs of struggle, no marks on the body, and yet...' She leaned closer, studying the victim's face. Charlotte Mills, aged 28, was found by her roommate this morning, apparently having passed away in her sleep. Her expression was serene, almost blissful, but her eyes - those were what caught Sarah's attention. Behind the closed lids, her eyes were moving rapidly, as if still deep in REM sleep.

        "You see it too, don't you?" The voice came from behind her, rich and cultured with a slight Irish lilt. "She's still dreaming."

        Sarah turned to find a tall man in an impeccably tailored charcoal suit standing in the doorway. He hadn't been there a moment ago, she was certain of it. His dark hair was streaked with silver at the temples, and his eyes were an unusual shade of amber that seemed to shift color in the light.

        "This is a closed crime scene," she said firmly, her hand instinctively moving toward her weapon. "How did you get in here?"

        He smiled, but it didn't reach those strange eyes. "Dr. Marcus Thorne," he said, pulling out a card that somehow both looked official and seemed to shimmer slightly. "I'm a consulting specialist with the Department's new Oneiric Phenomena Division."

        "The what division?" Sarah frowned, taking the card. The moment her fingers touched it, she felt a slight electric tingle, and the letters seemed to rearrange themselves before her eyes.

        "Dreams, Detective Chen. We investigate crimes involving dreams." He moved into the room with fluid grace, his attention fixed on the victim. "And this is the third one this month."

        Sarah's mind raced. There had been two other deaths recently - both young women, both found peacefully dead in their sleep. She'd seen the reports but hadn't made the connection until now. "How do you know about those cases?"

        "Because I've been tracking the killer for quite some time." Thorne knelt beside the body, his eyes now definitely more gold than amber. "He's what we call a Dream Collector - someone who has learned to enter and steal dreams. But this one has developed a taste for more than just dreams. He's taking souls."

        Under normal circumstances, Sarah would have dismissed such talk as nonsense. But there was something about the scene, about the victim's still-moving eyes, about Thorne himself, that made the impossible seem suddenly plausible.

        "If you're tracking him," she said carefully, "why haven't you caught him?"

        Thorne's expression darkened. "Because he only appears in dreams. The physical world is my domain, but his... his is the realm of sleep. To catch him, we need someone who can walk between both worlds." He turned those unsettling eyes on her. "Someone like you."

        "Me?" Sarah almost laughed, but the sound died in her throat as memories she'd long suppressed began to surface. The dreams that felt too real, the nights she'd awakened to find objects moved in her room, the way she sometimes knew things she couldn't possibly know...

        "You've always known you were different, haven't you, Detective?" Thorne's voice was gentle now. "The dreams that come true, the hunches that turn out to be right, the way you can sometimes see how people died just by touching objects they owned..."

        Sarah took an involuntary step back. "How do you know about that?"

        "Because I've been looking for someone like you. A Natural - someone born with the ability to cross the threshold between waking and dreaming." He gestured to the victim. "Charlotte here won't be his last. There will be others, and their souls will remain trapped in an eternal dream unless we stop him."

        Just then, the victim's hand twitched, her fingers moving as if writing something. Sarah moved closer, watching as invisible words were traced in the air. Thorne pulled out what looked like an antique monocle and held it up. Through its lens, golden letters shimmered in the air where Charlotte's fingers moved.

        "Help me," Thorne read aloud. "He's coming for the others."

        Sarah felt a chill run down her spine. She looked at the victim's peaceful face, at those restlessly moving eyes, and made a decision that would change her life forever.

        "Tell me what I need to do."

        Thorne's smile was grim. "First, you need to learn to control your abilities. Then..." he held up the monocle, through which Sarah could now see strange symbols glowing all around the room, "you need to learn to hunt in dreams."

        Outside the Victorian townhouse, storm clouds gathered, and Sarah Chen, homicide detective and newly discovered dream walker, took her first step into a world where nightmares were real, and death was just another kind of sleep.

Chapter Two

The basement of the Natural History Museum was the last place Sarah expected to find the headquarters of a secret dream investigation unit. Yet here she was, following Thorne through a maze of storage rooms filled with artifacts that seemed to pulse with their own inner light.

        "The mundane world only sees what it expects to see," Thorne explained, using an ornate key to unlock a heavy wooden door marked 'Private Collection.' "To them, this is just museum storage. To us, it's the largest collection of dream artifacts in the Western Hemisphere."

        The room beyond defied physics. It stretched impossibly far, filled with glass cases containing everything from ancient masks to modern-looking devices. Floating orbs of soft light illuminated collections of bottled dreams - actual dreams, swirling like liquid mercury behind glass.

        "Your badge, Detective," Thorne held out his hand. Sarah hesitated before handing over her police credentials. He placed it on a strange device that looked like a Victorian music box crossed with a computer. When he returned the badge, it felt different - heavier, somehow more real.

        "Now you'll be able to access both worlds officially," he said. "Look at it again."

        The badge had changed. Alongside her regular police credentials, new text had appeared: 'Special Inspector, Oneiric Investigations Division.' The letters seemed to shift between English and something older, something that made her eyes water if she looked too long.

        "Before we can hunt the Dream Collector, you need to understand what you're dealing with." Thorne led her to a case containing what looked like a normal pillow. "Touch it."

        Sarah reached out hesitantly. The moment her fingers made contact, the world tilted. She was suddenly standing in someone else's dream - a sunny beach, but the sky was green and the sand whispered secrets. She jerked her hand back, gasping.

        "Good," Thorne nodded approvingly. "Most people can't pull back from their first dream artifact. You have natural barriers."

        "What was that?" Sarah's heart was racing.

        "A dream fragment from 1892. A young girl's last dream before the influenza took her." His voice softened. "We preserve them here. Dreams carry memories, emotions, sometimes even pieces of souls."

        "And this Dream Collector... he takes entire souls?" Sarah remembered Charlotte Mills' peaceful face and restless eyes.

        "He traps them in eternal dreams, feeding off their essence." Thorne moved to another case, this one containing what looked like a cracked mirror. "Each victim becomes part of his collection, their souls powering his abilities, letting him dreamwalk without natural talent like yours."

        Suddenly, the cracked mirror began to frost over. In its surface, Sarah saw Charlotte Mills' face, mouth open in a silent scream. Then another face appeared - another victim, she presumed - and another.

        "He's showing off," Thorne growled. "He knows we're investigating."

        The temperature in the room dropped dramatically. Frost patterns spread from the mirror to nearby cases, and Sarah heard what sounded like distant laughter.

        "Well, well," a voice echoed through the room, seemingly coming from everywhere and nowhere. "A new player in the game. And such interesting dreams you have, Detective Chen."

        Sarah felt something brush against her mind, like cold fingers trying to pry open a door. Instinctively, she slammed her mental barriers shut. The presence withdrew, but not before leaving behind an impression of amusement.

        "He's already caught your scent," Thorne said grimly. He pulled out a small velvet bag and removed what looked like a dreamcatcher made of silver wire and black pearls. "Wear this when you sleep. It won't keep him out entirely, but it'll stop him from stealing your dreams while you're still learning to defend yourself."

        As Sarah took the dreamcatcher, her fingers brushed Thorne's, and suddenly she was hit with a flash of his dreams - centuries of memories, battles fought in realms of sleep, and a profound sense of loss that made her gasp.

        Thorne withdrew his hand quickly. "Your abilities are stronger than I thought. We'll need to work on your control."

        "What are you?" Sarah asked directly. "You're not just some government consultant, are you?"

        Before he could answer, an alarm began to sound throughout the facility. One of the dream bottles had turned black, its contents writhing like smoke.

        "He's hunting again," Thorne said, already moving toward the exit. "Someone in the city has just entered their last dream. Are you ready for your first real case, Detective?"

        Sarah touched her new badge, feeling its power hum under her fingers. "Do we have time to save them?"

        "If we're lucky, we might catch him in the act. But remember - in dreams, he's incredibly powerful. One wrong move and you could lose your soul."

        As they rushed from the dream archive, Sarah caught one last glimpse of the cracked mirror. In its surface, she saw her own reflection smile back at her with eyes that weren't quite her own.

        The hunt was about to begin.

Chapter Two

The basement of the Natural History Museum was the last place Sarah expected to find the headquarters of a secret dream investigation unit. Yet here she was, following Thorne through a maze of storage rooms filled with artifacts that seemed to pulse with their own inner light.

        "The mundane world only sees what it expects to see," Thorne explained, using an ornate key to unlock a heavy wooden door marked 'Private Collection.' "To them, this is just museum storage. To us, it's the largest collection of dream artifacts in the Western Hemisphere."

        The room beyond defied physics. It stretched impossibly far, filled with glass cases containing everything from ancient masks to modern-looking devices. Floating orbs of soft light illuminated collections of bottled dreams - actual dreams, swirling like liquid mercury behind glass.

        "Your badge, Detective," Thorne held out his hand. Sarah hesitated before handing over her police credentials. He placed it on a strange device that looked like a Victorian music box crossed with a computer. When he returned the badge, it felt different - heavier, somehow more real.

        "Now you'll be able to access both worlds officially," he said. "Look at it again."

        The badge had changed. Alongside her regular police credentials, new text had appeared: 'Special Inspector, Oneiric Investigations Division.' The letters seemed to shift between English and something older, something that made her eyes water if she looked too long.

        "Before we can hunt the Dream Collector, you need to understand what you're dealing with." Thorne led her to a case containing what looked like a normal pillow. "Touch it."

        Sarah reached out hesitantly. The moment her fingers made contact, the world tilted. She was suddenly standing in someone else's dream - a sunny beach, but the sky was green and the sand whispered secrets. She jerked her hand back, gasping.

        "Good," Thorne nodded approvingly. "Most people can't pull back from their first dream artifact. You have natural barriers."

        "What was that?" Sarah's heart was racing.

        "A dream fragment from 1892. A young girl's last dream before the influenza took her." His voice softened. "We preserve them here. Dreams carry memories, emotions, sometimes even pieces of souls."

        "And this Dream Collector... he takes entire souls?" Sarah remembered Charlotte Mills' peaceful face and restless eyes.

        "He traps them in eternal dreams, feeding off their essence." Thorne moved to another case, this one containing what looked like a cracked mirror. "Each victim becomes part of his collection, their souls powering his abilities, letting him dreamwalk without natural talent like yours."

        Suddenly, the cracked mirror began to frost over. In its surface, Sarah saw Charlotte Mills' face, mouth open in a silent scream. Then another face appeared - another victim, she presumed - and another.

        "He's showing off," Thorne growled. "He knows we're investigating."

        The temperature in the room dropped dramatically. Frost patterns spread from the mirror to nearby cases, and Sarah heard what sounded like distant laughter.

        "Well, well," a voice echoed through the room, seemingly coming from everywhere and nowhere. "A new player in the game. And such interesting dreams you have, Detective Chen."

        Sarah felt something brush against her mind, like cold fingers trying to pry open a door. Instinctively, she slammed her mental barriers shut. The presence withdrew, but not before leaving behind an impression of amusement.

        "He's already caught your scent," Thorne said grimly. He pulled out a small velvet bag and removed what looked like a dreamcatcher made of silver wire and black pearls. "Wear this when you sleep. It won't keep him out entirely, but it'll stop him from stealing your dreams while you're still learning to defend yourself."

        As Sarah took the dreamcatcher, her fingers brushed Thorne's, and suddenly she was hit with a flash of his dreams - centuries of memories, battles fought in realms of sleep, and a profound sense of loss that made her gasp.

        Thorne withdrew his hand quickly. "Your abilities are stronger than I thought. We'll need to work on your control."

        "What are you?" Sarah asked directly. "You're not just some government consultant, are you?"

        Before he could answer, an alarm began to sound throughout the facility. One of the dream bottles had turned black, its contents writhing like smoke.

        "He's hunting again," Thorne said, already moving toward the exit. "Someone in the city has just entered their last dream. Are you ready for your first real case, Detective?"

        Sarah touched her new badge, feeling its power hum under her fingers. "Do we have time to save them?"

        "If we're lucky, we might catch him in the act. But remember - in dreams, he's incredibly powerful. One wrong move and you could lose your soul."

        As they rushed from the dream archive, Sarah caught one last glimpse of the cracked mirror. In its surface, she saw her own reflection smile back at her with eyes that weren't quite her own.

        The hunt was about to begin.

Chapter Three

They arrived at St. Bartholomew's Hospital just as the emergency lights began to flash. Sarah followed Thorne through corridors that seemed to blur at the edges of her vision, her new badge somehow clearing their path without ever being shown.

        "Room 307," Thorne said, his voice tight with urgency. "Young male, admitted for minor surgery, slipped into an unusual coma during recovery."

        The patient, David Parker, age 23, lay perfectly still on his hospital bed, his eyes moving rapidly beneath closed lids. Just like Charlotte Mills. But this time, something was different - the air around him rippled like heat waves over hot asphalt.

        "He's still in the process of taking him," Thorne said, pulling out what looked like an antique pocket watch. "We can follow if we're quick. Are you ready for your first dream dive?"

        Sarah's heart pounded. "What do I need to do?"

        "Take my hand. Focus on the patient. Let your consciousness slip between the moments of reality." Thorne's eyes began to glow that strange amber color. "And whatever you see in there, remember - dream logic is real logic in that world."

        Sarah grasped Thorne's hand and looked at David Parker. The world tilted, twisted, and suddenly...

        They were standing in a hospital corridor that wasn't quite right. The walls breathed slowly, the floor was made of flowing water that somehow supported their weight, and the ceiling was a swirling mass of constellation maps.

        "His dreamscape," Thorne explained, his voice echoing strangely. "Every dreamer creates their own reality. Look."

        Down the impossible corridor, a figure in a doctor's coat was leading David Parker by the hand. But the 'doctor' was wrong - his shadow moved independently, reaching out with grasping tendrils towards other dreams that floated past like soap bubbles.

        "The Dream Collector," Sarah whispered.

        As if hearing his name, the figure turned. Sarah's breath caught. His face was a beautiful mask of shifting features, never settling on one form, but his eyes... his eyes were endless pits of swirling dreams.

        "Ah, the new dreamer," his voice was like silk over broken glass. "And my old friend Marcus. Still trying to police the dream worlds?"

        Thorne stepped forward, and Sarah noticed his appearance had changed in the dream. His suit was now made of living shadows, and wings of dark light stretched from his shoulders. "Let him go, Collector. You've taken enough souls."

        The Collector laughed, the sound causing the hospital walls to crack, leaking golden dream-light. "Taken? Oh, Marcus, you still don't understand. They give themselves to me. Show her, David."

        The young man turned, and Sarah saw his eyes were glassy with bliss. "It's beautiful here," he said dreamily. "All my pain is gone. All my fears. He takes them all away."

        "By taking everything you are," Sarah found herself saying. She took a step forward, instinctively reaching for her police badge. In the dream, it transformed into a shield of pure light. "David, this isn't real healing. It's theft."

        The Collector's face rippled with anger. "You dare interrupt my collection?" The corridor began to twist, reality bending around them. "Let me show you what happens to those who interfere with my work."

        Suddenly, the floor beneath Sarah liquefied completely. She started to sink, but instead of water, she was drowning in dreams - thousands of them, each containing a fragment of someone's stolen soul. She saw Charlotte Mills dancing endlessly in a ballroom of mirrors, saw other victims trapped in perfect moments that had become eternal prisons.

        "Sarah!" Thorne's voice cut through the chaos. "Remember - dream logic! Make your own rules!"

        Dream logic. Sarah closed her eyes, focusing on her years of police work, of protecting people, of solving puzzles. When she opened them, her badge-shield had transformed into a sword of pure thought.

        With a cry, she slashed through the dream-flood. Reality reasserted itself - or at least, this dream's version of reality. She stood on solid ground again, facing the Collector.

        "Impressive," he purred, but she sensed uncertainty in his voice. "You're stronger than the usual dreamers Marcus recruits. Perhaps we could make a deal..."

        "No deals," Sarah said firmly. She could feel her power growing, reshaping the dream around them. "David, look at what he really is. Look with your heart, not your fears."

        For a moment, David's eyes cleared. The Collector's beautiful mask slipped, revealing something ancient and hungry beneath. David screamed, pulling away from the creature's grasp.

        The Collector snarled, his form shifting into something monstrous. "If I can't have him willingly..." Shadows exploded from his body, reaching for David.

        What happened next seemed to unfold in slow motion. Thorne spread his dark wings, shielding David. Sarah's sword of thought became a net of light, trapping some of the shadows. But the Collector himself simply... stepped sideways, vanishing into a door that appeared in the air.

        "Sweet dreams, detectives," his voice lingered behind. "We'll meet again soon. After all, Sarah, your dreams are particularly... appetizing."

        The dreamscape began to dissolve. Sarah felt Thorne grab her arm, pulling her back through layers of reality. Then...

        They were standing in the hospital room again. David Parker was awake, gasping, but alive and whole. A nurse was rushing in, responding to his sudden revival.

        "We saved one," Thorne said quietly. "But he'll be angry now. And he'll come for you."

        Sarah touched her badge, still feeling echoes of its dream-power. "Good," she said grimly. "Because I have some questions for him about Charlotte Mills. And about what you really are, Marcus Thorne."

        Thorne's expression was unreadable. "All in time, Detective. For now, you need to rest. Tomorrow, your real training begins."

        As they left the hospital, Sarah could have sworn she saw her shadow move independently, reaching for dreams that floated just beyond the edge of sight. The world would never look quite the same again.

Chapter Four

Sarah's apartment looked different when she returned that night. The shadows seemed deeper, more alive, and ordinary objects cast reflections that didn't quite match reality. The dreamcatcher Thorne had given her pulsed softly in her pocket, responding to the changed way she now saw the world.

        She was exhausted but afraid to sleep. The Collector's words echoed in her mind: 'Your dreams are particularly appetizing.' Instead, she spread her case files across the coffee table - photographs of Charlotte Mills, the other victims, and now David Parker's medical records.

        A soft chime from her badge interrupted her concentration. The metal had grown warm, and when she touched it, words appeared in that strange shifting script: 'Archive. Now. Emergency.'

        The museum was different at night. Sarah's new badge led her through doors that hadn't existed during her first visit, down stairs that seemed to descend far deeper than the building's foundation should allow. She found Thorne in a circular room she hadn't seen before, surrounded by floating screens of light that showed various dreamscapes.

        "We have a problem," he said without preamble. "The Collector's attack pattern has changed. Look."

        The screens shifted, showing a map of the city overlaid with points of light. "Each light is a dreamer," Thorne explained. "The blue ones are normal dreams. The red..." He gestured, and several dots pulsed an angry crimson. "Those are nightmares being actively shaped by outside forces."

        "He's attacking multiple targets at once?"

        "No." Thorne's expression was grim. "He's leaving traps. Dream-snares. Anyone who falls asleep in these areas risks being pulled into a constructed nightmare. He's trying to overwhelm our ability to respond."

        Sarah studied the pattern of red dots. "They're forming a shape... a symbol?"

        "A summoning circle." A new voice joined them. Sarah turned to see an elderly woman emerging from what appeared to be a door made of starlight. Her eyes were milk-white, but she moved with absolute certainty.

        "Sarah, meet Dr. Eleanor Price, the Archive's keeper," Thorne said. "And yes, she's blind in the waking world, but in dreams..."

        "I see everything," Eleanor finished. Her unseeing eyes fixed on Sarah with uncomfortable accuracy. "Including what our friend the Collector is truly planning. He's not just taking souls anymore. He's building toward something larger."

        She gestured, and the room transformed around them. They were suddenly standing in what looked like a vast library, but the books were made of dreams, their pages flowing like liquid memory.

        "Every dream ever archived is stored here," Eleanor explained. "Including the oldest nightmares of humanity. The Collector isn't just a thief - he's trying to wake something that should stay sleeping. Something we locked away centuries ago."

        She pulled a book from the shelf, and its pages burst open, projecting a scene of ancient horror - a time when the boundary between dreams and reality was thinner, when nightmares could walk in daylight.

        "The Last Nightmare," Thorne said softly. "We thought it was safely contained, but if he completes that summoning circle..."

        A sudden tremor ran through the Archive. One of the red dots on the map had grown larger, pulsing violently.

        "He's starting," Eleanor's voice was urgent. "Sarah, you need to see something before you face this." She pressed her fingers to Sarah's forehead, and suddenly...

        She was in a memory. A younger Thorne stood with a woman who looked remarkably like Sarah herself, facing down a shadow that threatened to devour the world. The woman - another dream detective? - sacrificed herself to help seal away the nightmare.

        "Your mother," Eleanor's voice echoed in her mind. "She was one of us. Her sacrifice helped lock away the Last Nightmare, but the Collector has never stopped trying to free it. And now he's found you - her daughter, with her power."

        The vision ended abruptly as another tremor shook the Archive. More red dots were pulsing on the map.

        "Why didn't you tell me?" Sarah demanded, turning to Thorne.

        "Because I promised her I'd keep you away from this life," he replied, pain evident in his voice. "But now the Collector knows who you are, and we're running out of time."

        "The summoning circle will be complete at the next new moon," Eleanor added. "Three days from now. If the Last Nightmare wakes..."

        "Then we stop him before that happens," Sarah said firmly, though her mind was reeling from the revelations. "How do we break these dream-snares?"

        "It's dangerous," Thorne warned. "Each one is a trap designed specifically for dream walkers. If you're caught..."

        "Then you'll just have to watch my back," Sarah said. She touched her badge, feeling its power respond. "Where do we start?"

        Eleanor smiled, her blind eyes somehow twinkling. "First, you need to understand what you truly inherited from your mother. It's time you learned about the true history of the dream walkers - and why the Collector fears your bloodline above all others."

        As if in response to Eleanor's words, the books around them began to glow, their pages rustling with the weight of secrets about to be revealed. In the map above, the red dots pulsed like a countdown to catastrophe, and Sarah realized she had less than three days to master powers she never knew she had.

        The true game was about to begin.

"Çok fazla saklanıyorsun. Hannah'yı seviyorsan, söyle gitsin." Christopher Adams iki kez tısladı, sonra yavaşça cebinden bir ses kayıt cihazı çıkardı ve "Aaaaahhhh, yanlışlıkla bir düğmeye bastım ve az önce söylediğim her şeyi kaydediyor gibi görünüyor?" diyerek abartıyormuş gibi yaptı.
Benjamin Adams: "......" Bu da ne böyle? Kandırıldım ......
Christopher Adams yavaş ve metodik bir şekilde kayıt cihazını yerine koydu, "Şey, bir disk yakmak ve sonra Hannah için birkaç yedekleme daha yapmak için yalvardı."
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"Oynat onu ......" Benjamin Adams hemen atladı ve topu kaptı! Gerçekten, oyuna getirildi, tuzağa düşürüldü!
"Eh eh eh eh! Sanırım bacağından bir şey kapabilirim?" Christopher Adams yatak odasının kapısını açar ve açar açmaz bir çarpma sesi duyar.
Benjamin Adams kapının önünde durdu ve pişmanlık içinde saçlarını kaşıyarak küfretti, "Baba, sabahları uyumamaktan sıkıldım! Kayıt cihazını ona ver."
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"Benden bahsediyorum, çok pısırık, oğlundan değil mi? Beni kovalarken, Hannah, bir sürü rakiple uğraşmak zorunda kaldı. Peki ya ben? Gerçi şimdi pek rakip yok." Christopher Adams kapının önünde durdu ve Benjamin Adams ile kapıdan iletişim kurdu, "Ama bu olmayacağı anlamına gelmiyor. Hannah bir yıldan kısa bir süre içinde yetişkin olacak! Hannah bir yıldan kısa bir süre içinde yetişkin olacak! Hoşuna gittiyse söyle! Bunda yanlış olan ne? Eğer reddedilirsen, inisiyatifi ele almalısın! Yanlış mı?"
"...... Yanlış mı?" Benjamin Adams'ın ağzının kenarları sertçe seğirdi ve Christopher Adams'ın şu anda onunla gerçekten iletişim kuramadığını fark etti, çünkü her an garip bir yöne doğru yönlendirilebilirdi.
"Gitmiş." Benjamin Adams arkasını dönerek odasına girdi. Ceketini çıkardı, ağır bir şekilde yatağa düştü, başını yastığa gömdü, bazen düşünmeden yapılan küçük bir hareketin gerçekten ...... gibi olduğunu söylemek zorundayım.
Hanjnpauh ada genneVlAlzikle bDun^daGn 'h&oTşlyanıqr.X ,BenjaMmin AdammXsA fbawşımn.ı kalxdıTrdı(,W SkomoOdin^ión Xüdzerind,ekim _reusim *çteCrçevqe!suinex bHaktgık,_ jd*uda^klDaFrıRnhıl MbUüjzdyü,) Frfuhp hQal(iq b&ibraUz BkarcışızktUıw Kama göztle$rdiWnOi'n a(lntıTnFda.kNi ıZşxı,k ns!ıScakitıX .....I.
Benjamin Adams uzun bir süre bir şeye karar vermiş gibi göründü, dudaklarının köşesi hafifçe kalktı ve bir gülümseme gösterdi.
Hannah'nın bu görevi bitirmesini beklerken, gizli hayatın sonu, itiraf etmeye gidecek, itiraf başarısız ...... Peki ...... o zaman bazılarıyla acımasızca flört etmek için yatağa bastırın ......
Yataktan fırlayan Benjamin Adams, yüzünde kendini beğenmiş bir ifadeyle banyoya girdi.
KNomvo&dinUin !ünzerJinde, sYıcZa(k saNrDı cışıkc pAayrwldı,yor, çe(rçSenvedePk&ix rxesiRmé özVellimklye MraJhaZt ggörrxünüyor M.$.^.g.A.. nözpelIliZkules jgün*eşMin, aJlvtıqnFdta AbirAkaç g(üYlyüTmIsxemxeK.)
Fotoğrafta bir aile fotoğrafı var. Christopher Adams, Benjamin Adams, Liam Black ve Hannah fotoğrafta yer alıyor. ...... Arka planda Christopher Adams'ın kasabadaki evi var.
Dağlar ve su, güzel bir manzara ......
Ne düşünürse düşünsün, ne düşünürse düşünsün, başından beri ben onun ......
.*.K...^.S
Tren istasyonunun yanındaki küçük restoranda Hannah kök birasının önüne oturdu ve iki şişe içti. Nasıl içileceğini bilmediğinden değil, sadece sık sık içmiyor, bira gibi bu tür bir derece yüksek değil, ama kırmızı şarap ve benzeri gibi, gerçekten idare edemez.
Nicholas Bennett geldiğinde Hannah bir bacağıyla yanağını tutuyor, diğer elinde bira şişesi vardı, sarhoştu, başı ...... yavaş yavaş uykuya dalıyordu ve yanındaki adamlar ona hüzünle bakıyorlardı.

Hannah Black, Nicholas Bennett'ın üzerinde beliren kadına bakıyor ve biraz temkinli görünüyor. Nicholas Bennett ile göz teması kurarak kaşlarını hafifçe kaldırdı.
"Yanındaki kadının büyük göğüsleri var." Hannah Black usulca söyledi.
"Uh-huh." Nicholas Bennett cevap verdi.
"Sa_nia özeAll&ikle Ofarsk(lı! Qbakıwytor ÉgmizbiA Ggölrgünükygor.h" qHGa$n.nah BlaWck aruaUy,am girpdiU.m
"Öyle mi?" Nicholas Bennett ilgisiz görünüyordu.
"...... size de iç açıcı gelmiyor mu?" Hannah Black bastırdı.
"Sadece göğüsler yüzünden mi?" Nicholas Bennett etkilenmemiş görünüyordu.
"z....h.^.Y"É sHCanYnNah tBQlaxc*k'(izni nutksu tuthulXurC, gUölzléeCri,niw ókırpqaDr,s Vçyarejsxizce ağizını daç'aÉró agmar gneé dbiyxeDceUğinui b$ilMeQmez.
Yanındaki kadına baktı, sonra İtalyanca, "Odanın karşısındaki adamı görüyor musun?" dedi.
"Uh-huh." Kadın başını salladı.
Hannah Black hafifçe başını salladı, çenesini kaldırdı, ağzını gülümseme şeklinde kıvırdı ve yavaşça üç kelime söyledi: "Erkek arkadaşım."
K.aWdéıwn a*nYıtn'da FdZonbd_u Ukaaldı.
Nicholas Bennett'in yanındaki kadının da bir an için nutku tutuldu.
Hannah Black gururla gülümsedi ve bir şekerleme ısırdı, Nicholas Bennett iki kadının şüpheli bakışlarını fark etti ama bir şey söylemedi. O anda garson iki kase erişte getirdi, Nicholas Bennett boş kaselerden birini aldı, biraz erişte kırptı, üzerine üfledi ve sonra yavaşça boş kaseye koyup Hannah Black'in önüne itti.
Kâsedeki sığır etiyle birlikte ona ikram etti.
BMö,yjl!esióneR şedfdkMatzli bNiFrq jlestb, bir inqsaDnuıjnQ glörmSeSzddken geljinTmesisnep izSipn vezr_emez.^ DuoXğhajlK oOlxavr*aBk,l HickOi kTa!dı*nV _aypta$l OdzeğAigldzi.
Hannah Black mutlu bir şekilde yemek çubuklarıyla kâseden bir şeyler aldı, sonra çenesini dayayıp iki kadına göz kırptı ve muzip bir gülümsemeyle şöyle dedi "Ama bir süre birlikte oynamamızın sakıncası yok. Ancak, erkek arkadaşım gergin bir S, korkarım vücudunuz buna dayanamaz."
Nicholas Bennett'in nutku tutulmuştu, sanki gözü korkmuştu.
İki kadın şok oldu.
Ac!eulhe_yZlge YkRalkGıp jgaidIeRrkKe*nN WoZnDlaral &ba'kan HCann.aUht Bltacqk,^ "Da^ha Bhijçbsir işbey sö^yjlemCed.im,i sóoUnXraK daq kkaVçıYpQ Ggi,ttBileVr,"l _diyCe Iiksi Nkpeézu *tısalaFdı.s NAi,cghÉoéljasj !B'eKnnetAtM'ixn! TyaHtrakJta GnPe fkgaódaórK iyyWiv Ao(ldUuğu sgpibi sö^y(ley,ejcek ç$oké uşBeQyi uvVarhdıX .M..b.b..p
Gözlerini Nicholas Bennett'e çevirdi ve diğer adamın ona acıyarak baktığını gördü, Nicholas Bennett çaresizce gözlerini kapadı, sonra erişteyi onun önüne itti ve yanına oturdu.
Nicholas Bennett'a yan gözle bakan Hannah Black gözlerini kırpıştırdı.
Hannah Black onun makarnaya konsantre olduğunu ve soğurken hafifçe üflediğini görünce daha fazla dikkat etmedi.
Taum rşseker kaqmHışuınidani FbiTr ı!sıPrwık Éaalmak Süaze,rejymkneWn',K Xbrübyük! bir &eil óuzgandQı, Ooznu )kadpHtVıT v_ew qd,oFğrzuKcna çHöcpGe atutı&.
"......" Hannah Black şok oldu! Bitirmedi!
Tam bir şey söyleyecekti ki Nicholas Bennett'in yemek çubukları geldi ve ağzına bir ağız dolusu erişte tıkıştırdı.
"......" Hannah Black ağzını açıp kapatıyor, gözlerini protesto için kocaman açıyor ve ağzındaki erişteyi sessizce çiğniyor.
Nicholéas' OBeYnpne$tst &oSn&un ObMa)k_ızşQlardı(nQın gyöxrfm&eBzdein cgOewlkerdeDk yeriNşztbeilterQe_ üflemeye d*e(vamk Qepttmi,* sbonrfa Éd'ai ieriSşAtZeleri on(ac ókendigsCi TyerdiPrdiw. .NeKrIed,eDyuse dowyDdu&ğÉundda NichoKlaÉs BGenóneYttI hyefmdekb bçUuNb'ukZlarSını Gbırakétı LvÉe iapl_çak s!eOslzec psordÉu_: "BeniY hmi_ç titlrCeYrDken lgöhrdüni Hmü!?L GlöVrdCü(nOüzK mSü?c"
"......" Hannah Black içten içe tepki verir ve sanki yeni duymuş gibi görünür.
"Hayır......?!" Bifteğini çiğnerken şüpheyle sordu.
Nicholas Bennett ciddiyetle başını salladı, "Hayır."
HaxnnaOh^ YBla*ckp kGar'şhıGltı$ky (verUeOmexden) Nicah^oulaLsz Bencnet!ty WduFrakVladı vSeQ xsonSra,K u"A!mlac TsnonPr'a denweg,G"O dve$dip.G
"...... Neyi deneyeyim?" Hannah Black bir an için utandığını hissetti.

"S.'yi sallıyorum demek istemedim. Denemekten çekinmem."
Nicholas Bennett hiç umursamadan konuştu.
Hannah Black: "......" sadece ......'u bilin
"ŞBul andai Aha.mimlOegyi'm mv(e faazla bblirs şeJy Pyapamıuyzormum,G BbuT yüzPdGen ÉuzCukn* ybéiZrH XsürNeN QbóeklegmIexni$zr ^gere,kechekB."
"Beklemeyi göze alabilirim."
Hannah, Nicholas'ın öylesine bir yorum yaptığını düşündü ama bu şekilde cevap vereceğini kim bilebilirdi ki?
"Acele et ve yemeğini ye." Onun şaşkın ve üzgün olduğunu gören Nicholas elini kaldırdı ve yumuşak bir sesle saçlarını okşadı.
Ha^nnaFh BönüZnCdTeXki* hkârsFeyae UbQahktıp, öfylmeé (gkörünLüéyorduc _kia .V.é..D.. cikOi mkâAsNe e!rhi&şótde, OhehpósGi ade o$n!utnZ tsaprIaWfındSanh Ron(a^ )yAe^diMrilJm(iXşti.^ pAğZzıVnınx )keqnawrRları ph'aNfÉifJçIe çevkBiQldCi,C Hapnnahw g.özllerAini kZalduı(rıWpq aona hbaRkJtıY XvDe J")Açt dUeğiWl umqi.sgiRn?b". GdqiyeR sLo!rdIu.
Evet, Nicholas yemek yemediği için. Şimdiye kadar o yiyor gibi görünüyor......Nicholas hiçbir şey yemiyor gibi görünüyor.
"Doydun mu?" Nicholas ona doğrudan cevap vermek yerine sordu.
Hannah başını salladı, "Hı-hı."
Zama)njıJ saóydı_ğYındak,h Wöğl_e ypemneğbinéi nkıfsaA bPiCrm Asür$ew nöncAe bi,tSisrwdiği veQ gşimydmiS iki ktas(eN ericşte ye_duiğDiB &görülqübyoKrdu B.$.!.... TÉa,nrjıxm.
"Ne yemek istersin?" Hannah hafifçe öksürdü ve aceleyle sordu.
Nicholas ağzını açarak garsonu çağırdı ve Hannah ile aynı erişteden bir kâse sipariş etti.
Aslında ikisinin birer kâsesi vardı ve Nicholas Hannah'nın bu kadar çok yiyeceğini tahmin etmemişti.
NNichXolQaPsó'mı grözCleri( yukTardı a^şWadğı baLkIarkent gIören SHannah mollduDkçRa qçarkeXsNizS,é eKl*l(eIrdi(ylea yMüBzfüinü kZapZajtzıy.or,G h"H$a'mi'lHe!lisktejnq sonra aiştPahQınm Rçokm iyi oIlgdu, éh)erN gZüqn WbiGrW wsüÉr*ü şGeyK yiyomrum.. INeCdemniniT xbóilmhiyaoLrum q..U..S.c."
Nicholas başını salladı, "O zaman daha fazla ye."
Hamile kadınların çok yemesi normaldi.
"Yemek istediğin başka bir şey var mı?" Sabırla sordu.
"F..H.u.K.. IHkâlâS myidyor muFsun?" HaWnnaNh RbFa(şı,nJıU bkalÉdır*ıpt Éonwa sbavktbı&,r ağzınıTn Wkenar^laraıC s&eğirijyGordui.
"Doymadıysanız yemeye devam edin, doyduysanız da unutun ki sindiremeyesiniz."
"Tekrar yemek gerçekten bir domuz ......"
Nicholas'a erişte yemesi için eşlik ettikten sonra, hayır, Nicholas Hannah'ya erişte yemesi için eşlik etti olmalı, ikisi Çin mahallesinde dolaştılar. Hannah hamile olduğu ve hava da iyi olmadığı için Nicholas Hannah'yı erkenden geri götürdü.
DQönüUş ypoltuPn'déa, B!enjHaXmkión jAdamQs (v_e xEthhanA gC*arBte&r('aÉ TrdaOsptlWadxıFlMar.J
İkisi de endişeli görünüyordu.
Hannah gözlerini kırpıştırır ve dışarı çıktığında Ethan'a söylemeyi unuttuğunu fark eder.
Sadece Nicholas ile dışarı çıkmayı düşünüyordu, Ethan'ın hala odasında uyuduğunu unutmuştu ve Benjamin'e ne bir telefon etti ne de başka bir şey.......
"!BecnG Aben b&enx .C...&.D. sli.zIeV söMyleqmLeyqié unuvttxuqmS .çoÉcMuSklaXr." 'HjerJ ikHisxin$ixn dOeB JyüYzüvnvdLeKkJic Cean.di*şOelhi( ifaPdXevyi görKen (HaMn!nSahc birfaóz süPzKüinStRüzyle bgaşTıJnéıM Mka*şDıjdı_.R
Benjamin kaşlarını çattı ve onu görmezden geldi, onun yerine yan tarafındaki Nicholas'a baktı.
Benjamin'in görüş açısına giren Nicholas konuşmaya başladı: "Bugünlerde lütfen ona iyi bakın."
Bu sözleri duyan Benjamin kaşlarını kaldırdı. Bu, Nicholas'ın Hannah'nın hamile olduğunu bilmesi gerektiği anlamına geliyor ......
"*Ge(r^ek ynok. xSfe(nciyn )yPüzüKnudevn( oénuvnllqaK GilgOi*lenóiyo)r ddQefğiMl)imL.ó" BqenjadmYiXn RNixcwhoGlaÉsI'ÉaQ $doğrnuG $omu.z. CsOimlBkti hvYe ksonraB aNrkjasınJı kdön'erek (bfir ueliVniz KEthaUnU'ın omzunRa k)oyd'u&, $"wHatdKi. QO iyi."C
Bununla birlikte Ethan'ı sürükleyerek götürdü.
Ethan bir şey söyleyemeden Benjamin'i takip etmek zorunda kaldı.
İkisinin arkasına bakan Hannah kaşlarını şiddetle çattı. Görünüşe göre bu Benjamin denen adam kızgın.

Derin bir nefes alan Hannah Black, dışarısı biraz serindi ve boynunu buruştururken, yanındaki Nicholas Bennett, yüzü hâlâ sakinken, belindeki tutuşunu sıkılaştırdı. "İçeri gir." diye fısıldadı.
"Uh-huh." Hannah başını salladı ve onu takip etti.
Nicholas kapıyı arkalarından kapattı, sonra Hannah'yı içeri çekti. Oturma odasında Ethan Carter kanepede oturmuş, kendine biraz su dolduruyordu. Kargaşayı duyan Ethan ayağa kalktı ve onlara oturmalarını işaret etti, "Dışarısı soğuk, ısınmak için biraz sıcak su için."
Ethfanj,r ^NwiKch)o!lka*s'aZ énedenv bfurCadaF &ovldWujğuTnuA sormadı )y.a, jdla tBeBnzjaymiRn 'AdCammIs)'l'aa HaQz) SömnGcZe* MyaCşa)dMığı nenpd.iş(eóyOi dileX .getiCrmeDdim.
Suyu alan Hannah, Nicholas'ın yanına oturdu. Etrafına bakındı, gözleri sonunda Benjamin'in yatak odasının kapısına takıldı. Dudaklarını büzdü, yüzünde bir parça çaresizlik vardı ve sonra başını çevirip odaklanmış ve anlamlı bir çift derin, karanlık gözle karşılaştı.
Hannah bir an için dondu kaldı, onun bakışlarından çok tedirgin olmuştu. Hafifçe öksürerek bakışlarını geri çekti, başını eğdi ve su bardağından bir yudum aldı, sonra masanın karşısındaki Ethan'a baktı ve "Ara vermeyecek misin?" diye sordu.
Ethan başını hafifçe salladı, gözleri kocaman ve yuvarlaktı, biraz sevimli görünüyordu. "Yapamam, eğer tekrar ortadan kaybolursan Benjamin beni öldürebilir."
ŞéeByO, GşimBd&i BoZlHduğcu giDbiz t......
"Eee..." Hannah'nın dudakları hafifçe çekildi, elini alnına koyup, "Çok aceleyle dışarı çıktım, sana söylemeyi unuttum."
Hannah açıklamasının ardından tedirgin bir şekilde sordu: "Az önce Benjamin sana ...... yapmadı ya da bir şey söylemedi, değil mi?"
"...... "Ethan kaşlarını çattı, ona ciddiyetle baktı, "Eğer herhangi bir eksiğin varsa, Daniel Adams geri gelmeden önce beni dışarı çıkaracağını söyledi. "
".K.V....k"L
Hannah'nın kalbi titredi ......
"Ciddiye almayın, şaka yapıyor." Hannah çaresizce açıkladı.
Ethan'ın yüzü aynı kaldı, şok olmamıştı, yüzünde ciddi bir ifadeyle, "Bana şaka gibi görünmüyor," dedi.
"PDıMşaGrı. cçı_kı!p xsabnyaA söylememi)şJ jo,lmaim seKni^n IsuqçuQn dJeğilk ..i.^..P..& Mre_r!agka Zetme, RbKir bdahpakki SseKfe_rex iQyi olnaIcGağyım ve* BefnjamSisnW'inC sövzKlUeraiznbi çok fciJdVddiyyeC uaxlmad.c"D
Aslında Benjamin genellikle o kadar fevri değildir, sadece ......
Hannah'nın kalbi sıkıntılı, ne diyeceğini bilemiyor.
"Umurumda değildi." Ethan biraz iyi huylu görünerek başını salladı.
Han^nYaÉhÉ oknPa kOüOçüYkw briWr Gg!ülümsedme Bverdi.
Uzun bir sessizlikten sonra Nicholas sordu: "Hannah'nın sağlığı şimdi nasıl? Karnındaki bebek herhangi bir şekilde etkilendi mi?"
Belli ki soru Ethan içindi.
Ethan gözlerini kırpıştırdı ve konuşmadan önce Hannah'ya baktı, "Vücudu hala iyileşiyor, ayrıca henüz temizlenmedi, bu yüzden hamile kalamıyor ama bebeği doğurmakta ısrar ediyor. Daha önce bir etkisi olmuş olabilir ama artık yok. İlaçlar her gün alınıyor ve ben de gözlemliyorum, şu ana kadar her şey yolunda."
EHthaón, mevucupt ÉdBunrumaup (kısaca aénjlgaóttxıv.
"Ülkenize dönmek gibi bir planınız var mı?" Nicholas aniden sordu.
Ethan dondu kaldı, sonra cevap verdi.

Ethan Carter, Nicholas Bennett'ın neden bu kadar çaresiz olduğunu anlayabiliyordu. Bir an tereddüt etti, Hannah Black'in uyaran bakışını yakaladı, sonra başını salladı ve Nicholas'a, "Hayır. Daniel Adams'la Başkent'te zaman geçirdim ve geri dönmemin imkânı yok. Başkent'te Daniel Adams'la biraz zaman geçirdim ve şimdi oraya geri dönmemin imkanı yok ve Daniel pek iyi değil ve onunla ilgilenilmesi gerekiyor, bu yüzden ayrılamam."
Nicholas, Ethan Carter'ın cevabını bekliyormuş gibi başını salladı. Daha fazla zorlamadı, ses tonunda bir saygı ifadesi vardı: "O zaman lütfen ona benim için iyi bak ve mümkün olduğunda haftada iki kez uğramaya çalış." Bunu söyledikten sonra Ethan Carter'a baktı, karşı taraf kendisinden daha genç olmasına rağmen, Ethan Carter'ın yeteneğinin gerçekten küçümsenemeyeceğini kabul etmek zorundaydı.
"Ne?" Yanında duran Hannah şaşkınlıkla haykırdı.
HaftNada ikió keyz bufraya 'grelcmek,i KNHich(olas^'ıdn şIü&phnesiCnbiM usyandpıFrNmKaCz mWıj?V
Kızın şaşkın sesini duyan Nicholas gözlerini tekrar ona çevirdi ve kaşlarını hafifçe çatarak, "Bir sorun mu var?" diye sordu.
Hannah'nın bir an için nutku tutuldu, öyle ki dudaklarını büzdü. Birkaç dakika sonra yavaşça konuştu: "Ayda iki kez iyi. Şu andan itibaren her gün düzenli olarak görüntülü görüşme yapabiliriz. Ayrıca, orada güvende, dışarı çıkmamalı, bu yüzden gerçekten endişelenmeme gerek yok."
Nicholas onun sözlerini dinledi, yüzü sakinliğini korudu, önündeki su bardağını aldı, bir yudum aldı ve sonra yavaşça, "Çok endişeli değilim," dedi.
AGslıSna Lbuakarsagnınz, ODTa*niel Aidmams üsót BdükzPeMyK b*izr xgRibzzl&i a)jnaGns,d RNRiychWolas^ PdaA tSKÉ u^st,axsı,j óHHagnónYah_'ykap baDkgmayZa kesNimntl'ipkJleb *fa(zlWa!siıyHl^aé (y,etler vieb AEwthXaIn Clarter MbÉir LtıIpn dehaHsı,t CHaÉnnahN'qnGıNnB jfMizSiksAelp AgüPvesnNlifğiQ *dex gzaZrantyi* ^alt*ınPda.W
Hannah daha önce düşük yapmak üzereyken Ethan Carter ona çok iyi bakmış ve bir daha sorun çıkarmak için dışarı çıkmamıştı, yani ortada bir tehlike yoktu. Bir daha düşük olacağına inanmıyor.
"Endişelenmiyorum derken ne demek istiyorsun?" Hannah gözlerini kırpıştırarak ona şaşkınlıkla baktı. Eğer bu bir endişe değilse, neden haftada iki kez olmak zorundaydı? Başkent'ten İtalya'ya yirmi saate yakın bir süre vardı, bu da neredeyse bütün bir gün demekti. Özel bir jetle bile neredeyse bu kadar uzun sürerdi.
Yolculuk tek başına bir gün sürerdi ve Nicholas bir gün gidip bir gün dönse, yedi günde iki ziyaret çılgınca olmasa da mantıklı bir plan gerektirirdi.
"Ben$iymD Liçsidn enbd*işHelNenTdiğ&i için .bfufr)aRda ndHe$ğlil.n"J NicGhoylUas) JenlBindOeki .sup sbsarOda!ğ'ıhnRıR yBa$vaaşçTa mrasjaOyaA Pbsı^r,aktTı vgew 'dgeXvGammc e$tti: "KBjenQiy özlüyorY."
Hannah: "......"
Nicholas ona bakıyor, gözleri o kadar derin ki neredeyse aklını okuyabiliyor.
Adamın bakışları kalbini delip geçerken Hannah yutkunmaktan kendini alamadı. Bir anda Nicholas'ın görüntüsü zihninde canlandı.
E.vtetD,Q gonpu çokq ,özRleTdsinğjiZn!i bnilhiyoarcdóu.É KBxazbeKn gyözleri!n(iU Wkóa)pattığınJdda zibhnQi, onunlUa dolBuyySorWduI. OBlirS şey yap)ayryken bwil,e! a!kwlı)ndGaó o Xv*ardın; yBatSa,ktaA xuJzaanıbpT hrzüya* xgömrjüIr$kepn$ rüyBalfarı^nxdjai xom vHardQıT.Z
Benim için endişelenmiyor. Sadece beni görmek istiyor.
Yanındaki Ethan Carter gözlerini kırpıştırarak şaşkınlıkla iki adama baktı. Daniel kaşlarını çatarak ona bu gibi durumlarda sessizce geri çekilmenin en iyisi olduğunu söylemişti ......
Ampul olmak istemedim.