Feltétel nélküli szeretet

Chapter One

As night fell, the cold moon hung high in the sky. The bright moonlight fell on the ancient castle on the edge of the city, casting a mysterious silver veil around it. Emily stood on the balcony, looking at the forest in the distance, and felt a chill rising from the bottom of her heart. Since moving to this castle, her life has become bizarre and mysterious.
The cold wind in October swept across her bare shoulders, bringing a shudder. Emily subconsciously wrapped her woolen shawl tightly around her, but she couldn't feel any warmth. This castle seems to be always cold, just like its mysterious owner Lucas Black, exuding an inaccessible atmosphere.
"Miss Emily," suddenly, a low voice sounded behind her, "You'll catch a cold if you're still outside so late."
She turned around and saw Lucas standing at the balcony door. The moonlight outlined his tall figure. He was wearing a dark silk shirt, and the collar vaguely revealed his strong chest. The amber eyes flickered strangely in the darkness, as if they could see through her soul.
"Mr. Black," Emily whispered, trying to hide the trembling in her voice, "I'm just admiring the moonlight."
Lucas took a step forward, but suddenly stopped. Emily noticed that his body stiffened instantly, and his nostrils fluttered slightly, as if he was sniffing something. His expression became solemn, and a glimmer of wildness flashed in his eyes, but was quickly suppressed.
"Please go in," his voice was hoarser than usual, "It's not safe here."
Just then, a cold night breeze swept across the balcony, bringing a faint smell of rust. Emily saw that Lucas's fingers were almost pinched into the stone railing, and his knuckles were white. She couldn't help but take a step back, her heartbeat accelerated.
"I thought this castle was the safest place," she whispered, "after all, you are here."
Lucas let out an almost inaudible growl, "Some danger, Miss Emily, is much closer than you think." His eyes looked unusually sharp in the moonlight, "especially on a full moon night."
Suddenly, a wolf howl came from the distant forest, shrill and long. Emily was surprised to find that Lucas' pupils shrank in an instant and turned into vertical pupils like a beast, but the fleeting change made her wonder if it was just an illusion caused by the moonlight.
Just then, a cold breath passed by her from behind, accompanied by a chuckle. Emily turned around and saw only a dark shadow flashing in the corner of the balcony. When she looked back again, Lucas had come to her side, with a hand gently on her shoulder.
"I'll take you back to your room," he said, with an unquestionable commanding tone in his voice. Emily noticed that his palms were surprisingly hot, in sharp contrast to the chill of the castle.
Walking in the dark corridor of the castle, Emily could feel Lucas' presence, he walked behind her like a silent guardian. Moonlight poured in through the Gothic stained glass windows, casting mottled shadows on the floor.
"Good night, Miss Emily," Lucas whispered in front of her door, "Remember, no matter what sound you hear, don't leave the room tonight."
"Why?" Emily asked subconsciously.
Lucas was silent for a moment, his eyes looked deep and dangerous in the moonlight, "Because the moonlight tonight is too beautiful, it will always wake up something that shouldn't wake up."
When the door closed behind her, Emily leaned against the door, her heartbeat still alarmingly fast. She could hear Lucas's footsteps gradually fading away, but she seemed to hear the sound of wings flapping outside the window. She walked to the window and looked out through the glass.
In the moonlit courtyard, she saw a figure standing by the fountain. The man looked up at her window, and the moonlight illuminated his pale marble face - it was Draco, with a mysterious smile on his lips and a dangerous light in his eyes. When Emily blinked, his figure had disappeared, as if he had never appeared. Emily lay trembling on the bed, listening to the wolf howling outside the window. She knew that she had fallen into a world full of dangers, and this was just the beginning. On this moonlit night, her fate was closely linked to two mysterious and dangerous beings, and there was no turning back.

Chapter Two

In the dead of night, Emily lay in bed, the faces of Lucas and Draco appeared in her mind. She could not resist the deep attraction, but she also knew that she was caught in a dangerous vortex. She knew that the confrontation between the two men was a life-and-death hostility, and she was just a pawn in their war. A corner of her heart reminded her to escape, but the deeper desire pulled her to stay in this mysterious castle, looking forward to the unknown encounter.

        Just as she was about to fall asleep, a slight knock on the window interrupted the silence. Emily opened her eyes, and the moonlight poured into the room through the curtains, making the corners of the room particularly dark. She sat up subconsciously, trembling slightly and walked to the window. When she opened the curtains, a figure was standing in front of her, cold and elegant.

        It was Draco.

        "Sorry, I scared you, Emily." His low voice was frivolous and indifferent, as if every word revealed his unfathomable darkness. His eyes were like two flames in the abyss, locking onto her with an irresistible force.

        "How... are you here?" Emily's heartbeat quickened, and her hands unconsciously clenched a corner of the curtain. She knew she should be scared at this moment, but Draco's unique charm made it hard for her to resist.

        Draco did not answer her question, but slowly approached, lowered his head and whispered in her ear: "You know why I'm here, Emily. You've never really been afraid of me, right?"

        The moment he approached, she smelled the cold breath on him, as if it came from the night a thousand years ago. Her breathing gradually became rapid, but she did not retreat, but was locked by his eyes, as if her soul was also attracted to him.

        "Draco... we can't do this." Her voice was weak, but she did not retreat at all, as if even she herself was struggling with contradictions.

        "You don't belong here at all, Emily. Staying here will only put you in deeper danger." Draco gently lifted her chin, with a smile on the corner of his cold mouth, that smile was both gentle and dangerous, "But if you want to know the real darkness, then come. I will take you to see everything."

        At this moment, the door was pushed open, and Lucas' figure appeared at the door like a shadow. His face was gloomy, and his eyes were burning with anger. It was his possessiveness and anger that he could not hide. He walked towards Draco step by step, his hands clenched, his muscles tensed, as if he was going to pounce on and tear the enemy in front of him in the next second.

        "Draco, let her go." Lucas' voice was low and threatening, like an enraged beast. It was the first time Emily saw him so out of control, his eyes were like a ball of unextinguishable fire, revealing uncontrollable anger and possessiveness.

        Draco smiled slightly, released Emily's chin, and looked at Lucas provocatively. "Don't you understand yet? She doesn't belong to you. The savagery of the wolf tribe is nothing but a bondage to her, and I can give her true freedom."

        "The 'freedom' you mentioned will only make her fall into darkness. You don't understand what true protection is." Lucas sneered, his eyes as sharp as an eagle. He slowly stepped forward, blocked Emily, and protected her behind him. That was his attitude as the wolf king, firm and unshakable.

        Emily was sandwiched between the two, feeling her heartbeat speed up, as if breathing became difficult. These two completely different forces intertwined and collided in front of her, making it impossible for her to decide which side to choose.

        Draco raised the corners of his mouth and slowly took a step back, his eyes still on Emily. "Emily, one day you will find that he can't satisfy the desire in your heart. And I am your true home."

        As soon as the voice fell, Draco's figure disappeared into the night, as if he had never appeared.

        Lucas looked at the empty room, his fists gradually loosened, but the anger and worry in his eyes remained. He turned around and looked at Emily softly, but his eyes still flashed with contradictions and forbearance.

        "Are you okay?" He asked in a low voice, with a trace of undisguised concern in his voice.

        Emily nodded, but her heart was in turmoil and it was difficult to calm down. She knew that she had fallen too deep. She could not let go of these two men easily, nor could she easily resist them. A complex emotion surged in her heart, which was a dangerous and fatal attraction.

        "Lucas, I..." She wanted to say something, but lost her words when she met his eyes.

        "Don't get close to him." Lucas' voice was low, with a hint of pleading and warning, "I know you feel confused, but Draco is not what you think. He will only drag you into the darkness, and I won't let him hurt you."

        Emily just looked at him silently, and a touch of uncertainty gradually rose in her heart. She knew that this was not just a war, but a contest of feelings and desires. In this dangerous triangle relationship, she has gone too far and can never turn back.

Chapter Three

Emily stayed awake all night. The wind outside the window blew through the woods, making a low moan, as if the whole castle was whispering in her ear. She curled up in bed, recalling Draco's cold smile and Lucas's deep eyes. Two completely different attractions stirred in her heart, making her lost on the edge of danger and desire.

        When the sky was slightly bright, she made a decision. She had to figure out what she wanted, the wildness and protection of the wolf tribe, or the mystery and temptation of the vampire. She got up and walked out of the room, walked through the deserted corridor, and came to the door of Lucas's study.

        The door of the study was slightly open, and a whisper came from inside. Emily stood outside the door and pricked up her ears to listen.

        "She is innocent, Lucas." A low and gentle female voice came from Lucas's sister, Leila. Emily had heard rumors about her. Leila was the wisest prophet in the wolf tribe and could always see fragments of the future.

        "I know, Leila." Lucas' voice was hoarse, as if he had struggled all night, "but I can't control myself, I can't suppress my desire for her. I'm afraid that if she stays with me, she will only be swallowed by my darkness."

        Emily's heart trembled, and she raised her hand to push open the door.

        "Lucas." Her voice was abrupt and firm in the silent room.

        The two turned around and saw her standing at the door with a hint of determination in her eyes. She walked slowly towards Lucas, looked up at him, with a hint of determination and inquiry in her eyes.

        "I know you protect me, but I'm not a fragile child." Her voice was calm and firm, "I need to know the truth. Why are you always so hesitant? And why is Draco so persistent in approaching me?"

        Lucas' expression froze for a moment, his eyes wandering on her face, as if he was weighing whether to tell her everything. Finally, he took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind.

        "Emily, the fate of our werewolves is usually determined at birth. The wolf tribe has a unique ability to perceive its partner. When we find that person, we will feel an attraction that cannot be ignored... and you are my destined partner." Lucas spoke in a low voice, with pain and desire flashing in his eyes.

        Emily's heartbeat accelerated, and thousands of emotions surged in her mind, both shocked and confused. She never thought that she would become his destined partner, and his possessiveness and protectiveness of her turned out to come from this ancient bond.

        She asked softly: "What about Draco? Why is he so obsessed with me?"

        Lucas's eyes became more gloomy, and there was a hint of anger in his eyes. "Draco's tribe never believed in fate. They prefer to dominate their own future. And he believes that as long as he possesses you, he can destroy me and the traditional beliefs of the wolf tribe. So, he is not sincere to you, but to weaken my power."

        Emily's heart suddenly tightened, and a hint of anger and loss surged in her eyes. However, she also felt a little unwilling, as if she was just a tool in this struggle, being fought over and torn by the two, and she had no right to control herself.

        "So, Lucas, are you sincere? Is it just fate for me?" There was a hint of disappointment in her voice, and her eyes became cold.

        Lucas was stunned, as if he was hurt by her question. He was silent for a moment before speaking: "Emily, I can't deny the existence of fate, but I can't ignore my feelings for you." He gently held her hand, his eyes full of affection and desire, "Whether it is fate or something else, I am willing to give up everything for you."

        Just then, a slight sound came from outside the window. Emily turned back suddenly and saw a pair of dark red eyes flashing outside the window, like a flame in the dark, and the familiar cold breath startled her heart.

        It was Draco.

        He stood outside the window, sneering at them, as if everything was under his control. He knocked on the window lightly, his voice cold and full of provocation: "I don't think it's possible to talk about 'betraying' everything here, Lucas. You can't protect her because she will eventually come to me."

        Lucas' eyes immediately became cold and dangerous. He stood in front of Emily, glared at Draco outside the window, and growled in a low voice: "Stay away from her, Draco. You can't force her to choose darkness."

        Draco smiled slightly, his eyes full of evil confidence. He raised his eyebrows at Emily, as if everything was under his control. "Dear Emily, you will find that the bright world cannot satisfy your desire. And darkness - is your destination." After he finished speaking, his figure instantly disappeared into the night.

        The room returned to silence, but the air was filled with tension and uneasiness. Emily looked at the empty darkness outside the window, feeling both fear and desire in her heart. She could no longer deny Draco's attraction to her, and the danger and mystery made her heart beat faster.

        Lucas noticed her hesitation, and a trace of pain and uneasiness flashed in his eyes. He gently held her hand and whispered, "Emily, don't get close to him. His darkness will devour you and make you lost in the endless night."

        She didn't respond, but just looked at him silently, her heart full of complicated emotions. She knew that she could no longer simply withdraw from the two of them. Her fate had been drawn into an uncontrollable vortex, and the only thing she could do was to follow her heart and touch the unknown darkness.

Chapter Four

As autumn deepened, the forest surrounding the castle donned a cloak of gold and crimson. Yet Emily felt none of the season's warmth. Since that night's revelation, her mind had been in constant turmoil, with Lucas's truth and Draco's temptation intertwining like two serpents in her thoughts, leaving her breathless.

        That evening, Emily found herself alone in the castle's library, searching through ancient tomes for any mention of werewolves and vampires. As she focused on a yellowed manuscript, the air suddenly turned cold. Looking up, she found Draco standing across from her, his appearance as silent as shadow.

        "Seeking truth, my dear Emily?" Draco leaned elegantly against the bookshelf, wearing a deep purple silk shirt that made his skin appear even paler. "But you know, written accounts are often one-sided."

        Emily instinctively stepped back. "Why do you always appear like this? It's unsettling."

        Draco chuckled softly, moving toward her with fluid grace. "Because I enjoy seeing you startled. It makes you even more enticing." His fingers traced her cheek, the cold touch making her shiver. "Lucas told you I'm merely using you, but did he mention that his fate is actually a chain binding him?"

        Emily froze. "What do you mean?"

        "The werewolves' so-called destined mates are nothing but constraints in their bloodline," Draco's voice carried a hypnotic power. "They're forced to love someone, forced to protect them. Isn't that tragic? While I..." his gaze deepened, "I choose you because I'm truly drawn to you."

        A low growl suddenly echoed from the doorway. Lucas stood there, his eyes now golden, filled with rage. "Step away from her, Draco!" His voice carried an unmistakable threat.

        Instead of retreating, Draco pulled Emily closer. "Why so angry, Lucas? Is it because I spoke the truth, or because you fear she might choose me?"

        The tension in the air grew thick enough to cut. Emily could feel the energy between the two men threatening to tear the room apart. Lucas's body trembled as he fought to control the beast within.

        "Enough!" Emily suddenly shouted, "What am I to both of you? Some trophy to be won?" Her voice carried both anger and hurt.

        Both men froze. Pain flashed across Lucas's eyes, while Draco's expression turned contemplative.

        Emily pushed away from Draco and walked toward the door, but paused beside Lucas. "You say I'm your destiny, but have you considered my feelings?" Her voice was soft but accusatory. "And you, Draco, if you truly cared for me, you wouldn't use me as a weapon against him."

        She hurried from the library, and only when she reached the corridor did her tears finally fall. She didn't know whom to trust - Lucas, chosen by fate, or Draco, who chose her himself? More importantly, she began to question whether she truly understood her own heart.

        As night fell, Emily stood on her balcony. Wolves howled in the distant forest, while somewhere in the castle, she thought she heard the flutter of bat wings. Everything reminded her that she stood at the crossroads between two worlds, and she had to make a choice.

        Then she noticed items on the balcony railing: a rose as black as night with a blood-red sheen - Draco's mark. Beside it lay a wolf fang necklace, a werewolf protection charm, obviously left by Lucas.

        Emily gently touched both items, her internal conflict growing stronger. She knew that choosing either would alter her destiny forever. But more importantly, she needed to understand what her heart truly desired.

        As moonlight bathed the castle grounds, Emily realized that her decision wouldn't just be about choosing between two men - it was about choosing what kind of life she wanted, and more importantly, who she wanted to become.

Chapter Five

The following days in the castle were filled with an unbearable tension. Emily found herself constantly caught between shadows and silence, between warmth and cold. Every corner seemed to hold either Lucas's protective presence or Draco's seductive whispers. The weight of their attention was becoming increasingly suffocating.

        One particularly cold morning, Emily discovered a mysterious leather-bound book in the library's restricted section. Its pages contained ancient prophecies about the eternal conflict between werewolves and vampires. As she read, her hands trembling, she found something that made her blood run cold.

        'When the moon bleeds red and the night grows teeth, a choice will be made that breaks the ancient cycle. A mortal's heart shall tip the balance, bringing either eternal darkness or salvation to both races.'

        "Interesting reading material," Leila's voice suddenly came from behind. Lucas's sister moved like a ghost, her silver eyes holding centuries of wisdom. "I've been waiting for you to find this."

        Emily closed the book carefully. "Is this... about me?"

        Leila's expression remained enigmatic. "The prophecy speaks of a mortal who stands between our worlds. But prophecies, dear Emily, are like rivers - they show the destination, but the path taken is always your choice."

        "What happens if I choose wrong?" Emily's voice wavered.

        "There is no wrong choice, only consequences," Leila replied, her voice gentle but firm. "But I must warn you - the blood moon approaches, and with it, a moment of truth that will change everything."

        Before Emily could ask more questions, a commotion erupted from the castle grounds. They rushed to the window to see Lucas and Draco facing each other in the courtyard, their postures tense with barely contained violence.

        "You've crossed the line, Draco," Lucas's voice carried up to them, filled with fury. "You dare to mark our territory?"

        Draco's laugh was cold and mocking. "Territory? This stopped being about territory the moment she arrived. Or are you afraid she's already choosing me?"

        Emily watched in horror as Lucas's form began to shift, his muscles rippling beneath his clothes. The morning sun caught his golden eyes, now burning with primal rage. Draco's own transformation was more subtle - his pale skin taking on an otherworldly sheen, his movements becoming impossibly fluid.

        "Stop!" Emily's voice rang out across the courtyard. Both men froze, their attention snapping to her window. "This has to end!"

        She turned to rush downstairs, but Leila caught her arm. "Be careful, Emily. The blood moon is three days away. Under its light, both races lose control of their darker natures. And you..." she paused meaningfully, "you will be at your most vulnerable."

        When Emily reached the courtyard, the tension was thick enough to choke on. Lucas immediately moved to her side, his protective instinct evident in every motion. But it was Draco who spoke first.

        "My apologies for the disturbance, dear Emily," his voice was silk over steel. "But perhaps it's time you understood the full scope of what you're involved in." He pulled an ancient medallion from his coat. "This belongs to your grandmother. She wasn't just any woman - she was a guardian, keeper of the balance between our races."

        Emily's world tilted. "My grandmother? But she died when I was young..."

        "She was murdered," Lucas cut in, his voice heavy with old pain. "By those who wanted to destroy the peace between our kinds. And now, as her descendant, you inherit her role - and her enemies."

        The revelation hit Emily like a physical blow. Suddenly, everything made more sense - the mysterious circumstances that led her to the castle, both men's intense interest in her, the prophecy. She wasn't just caught between two supernatural beings; she was part of an ancient legacy.

        "The blood moon comes," Draco said softly, his eyes locked on Emily. "And with it, powers long dormant will awaken. You'll need to choose not just between us, Emily, but between two paths for both our races."

        As if in response to his words, clouds gathered overhead, casting strange shadows across the courtyard. Emily felt something stir within her, something old and powerful, like a sleeping giant finally beginning to wake.

        Lucas moved closer, his warmth a stark contrast to the chill air. "Whatever you choose, Emily, know that my protection isn't just about fate or duty anymore. It's about-"

        But before he could finish, a piercing scream cut through the air. All three turned to see Leila collapsed at the castle entrance, her silver eyes wide with terror as she pointed at the sky.

        "It's coming," she gasped. "The blood moon... it's coming early. And with it, they're returning - the ones who killed your grandmother. They're coming for Emily."

        In that moment, as Emily looked between Lucas and Draco, she realized that her choice might not be about love at all - it might be about survival.

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Blurb
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Mi leannQez, hVa mn.em csakm egy, ón)em' Lcsak k)eÉttaőó,y QhaInOeBmX hátrHoamR dödgWöisK paysqiBbAaS slVenónél Aszpere^l.mesD?p
És mi lenne, ha ők is vissza akarnának kapni?
Hárman vannak. Három fiú.
Barátok vagyunk. Szomszédok. Az életünket katasztrófa, félelem és fájdalom köti össze.
M,i.ndaUnSnaywixu!kCatG s!zCeiret&emT. NZehm biizitobsÉ, 'hopgy ttuCdnXéékz gnléTlkülaü*k élniD.( .Nze!m mmarVaydhzatvnáCnAk& bahrátok?
Tudunk-e nem tudomást venni a vágyról, ami fellángol, amikor egymás közelében vagyunk?
Megcsókolhatom az egyiket, de a másikat nem?
Nem tudok választani.
NeGmL arkaroYk$ vvTáslasxztyansik.C
És nem vagyok benne biztos, hogy ők sem tudnak.
Ez a történet vagy szívfájdalommal fog végződni, vagy úgy, ahogy minden történetnek végződnie kell: happy enddel.
A szerelem nem egy út. Hanem egy ország. Egy kiterjedt galaxis.
AW Wszferwe_leTmnUek. nincYs Jiránystűje. Ni,ncsneTnemkB s*zabládldywok._ Nin!cs,enek xhIadtároJkJ.r
A szerelem egy univerzum. Veszítsd el magad benne.

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Kezdő
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A te tragédiádból.
A te fájdalmad.
A zűrzavarod és a gyötrelmed.
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Az élet az irónia megtestesítője. Ezt ne felejtsd el. Ahogy a szerelem is. A szerelem még rosszabb. A szerelem porig éget, és a hamuban táncol.
És ez a történet, amit most el fogok mesélni neked, pontosan ezt bizonyítja. Az élet fáj. Éget és fáj, amíg meg nem tanulod szeretni a lángokat.
De a szeretet... a szeretet a minden.

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I. könyv
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MaiyeBlőwtLtF
"Bármi történjék is itt, bízz a szívedben. Az olyan igaz, mint bármelyik iránytű."

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Első fejezet
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SyudnGey
Tűz vagyok. Én égek az életben. A forró elem a hajam vörösében, a szeplőim aranyszínében, a piros Converse cipők és a sárga pulóverek iránti vonzalmamban nyilvánul meg.
Megnyilvánul abban is, hogy hajlamos vagyok minden jót elrontani, mindent felgyújtani, ami az utamba kerül, mint Siva, a pusztító. Elrejtem, amennyire csak tudom. Ez az egyetlen nagy titkom.
De igazából senkit sem tudok becsapni. Még a két szomszédomat sem, akikkel próbálok összebarátkozni, mióta beköltöztem ebbe a lakásba. Erősebben kell próbálkoznom. Jobban meg kell mutatnom, hogy normális vagyok. Csak egy átlagos tinilány, szerény diák és törvénytisztelő állampolgár, akinek van egy kis vonzódása az anime és a klubtánc iránt.
Éqs !a& BszomsPznédmos upkasitkéArt.O
De ez nem a témához tartozik.
Legyél jobb a színlelésben. Erre kell gondolnom. Úgy értem, nem csoda, hogy ezen a meleg nyári estén egyedül ülök a lépcsőn, átölelve a térdeimet, nyalókát szopogatva, és nézem, ahogy egy idegen kopogtat Nate ajtaján.
Kora este van, és félhomály van a lépcsőházban, ahol ülök, de a lépcsőfok fölött lógó egyetlen izzó aranyozza be az ott álló fiatalember haját, aki lehajtott fejjel, az egyik nagy vállára dobott szatyorral áll.
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Nate a szomszédom. A szüleivel él, nagyjából velem egyidős, és az én iskolámba jár. Visszatartom a lélegzetem, és várom, hogy kinyissa az ajtót.
Nate dögös.
És egy emelettel alatta lakik a másik szerelmem, mármint a szomszédom. Westnek hívják, és jó barátja Nate-nek.
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De vajon ez valódi? Tényleg barátok vagyunk?
Úgy tűnik, nem égnek, amikor hozzám érnek, szóval ez jó, nem? Még nem csesztem el ezt a bimbózó barátságot, de vajon mikor fogom elrontani?
Nate ajtaja kinyílik, élénksárga fényt szórva a lépcsőfeljáróra, kizökkentve engem sötét gondolataimból. Egyenesebben ülök, hogy jobban lássam, ahogy kilép, és magas alakjának látványa megrándít valamit a mellkasomban. Szomorúságnak érzem. Vagy öröm.
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Nate sötétbarna haja megcsillan a sárga fényben, ahogy a szőke srác felé közelít. Néhány centivel előrébb van, és bámulom, ahogy a szemöldöke árnyékot vet a szeme fölé. Mond valamit az idegennek, aztán megveregeti a karját.
A szőke felemeli a fejét, és a fény megcsillan a fémen. Piercingek, gondolom, és a profilja ebből a szögből homályos, de valahogy gyönyörűnek tűnik. Szimmetrikus. Erős. Szögletes állkapocs és erős szemöldök.
Ki ez a férfi?
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Soha nem beszélt arról, hogy látogató érkezik, aki nála akar maradni. Ez egy váratlan fordulat volt, aminek véletlenül szemtanúja voltam?
Bár nem tűnt meglepettnek. Mármint Nate. Úgy jött ki beszélgetni ezzel a fickóval, mintha már várt volna rá. Miért nem szólt, hogy vendége van?
Aztán megint csak, mint mondtam, azt sem tudom, hogy igazi barátok vagyunk-e. Nem mintha én mindent elmondanék neki, akkor ő miért tenné?
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És talán nem én vagyok az egyetlen. Micsoda meglepetés.
* * *
"Mi a helyzet?" West erős kezét az enyém melletti szekrényre támasztja, miközben a telefonját ellenőrzi. Rám sem néz, de tudom, hogy a válaszomra vár.
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West... intenzív. Nincs jobb szó arra, ahogyan minden feladatra koncentrál, a házi feladattól kezdve a főzésen át - igen, főz - a jövőről való beszélgetésig.
Vagy rám néz.
Úgy néz rám, mintha minden egyes alkalommal megjegyezné az arcom, úgyhogy örülök, hogy most nem néz, hagyja, hogy jóllakjak.
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"Ó, semmi különös." Előveszem a következő órák könyveit, és a hátizsákomba gyömöszölöm őket. "Tudod. A szokásos."
Végigsimít a nyelvével az ajkán, és ismét a telefonjára pillant. "A lakás kitakarítása?"
"Mi van vele?" Megvonom a vállamat. Takarítok, hátha anya hazajön, és így találja. "Nem bűncselekmény, ugye?"
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Becsukom a szekrényemet, és mosolyt lövök rá. "Igen?" Ritkán ajánlja fel, ritkán tűnik úgy, hogy érdekelné, hogy találkozzunk az iskolán kívül.
"Igen. A szüleid amúgy sincsenek otthon."
Most rajtam a sor, hogy megfeszüljek. És ő észre sem veszi. Elmerül abban, amit a telefonján lát.
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"Hm."
"Valaki fontos?"
"Mi?"
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A szívem megdobban a gondolatra, hogy ez egy lány lehet. Vajon elmondaná nekem? Csak barátok vagyunk, mondhatni, és a srác mindenhol felkapja a fejét, amerre csak jár. Erre a pillanatra készültem, mióta megismertem.
De ő csak elteszi a telefont a farzsebébe, és ferde vigyorra húzza a száját. "Nem, gyere, el fogunk késni az óráról."
Megfordul, elvárva, hogy kövessem, és nekem futnom kell, hogy lépést tartsak a hosszú lépteivel. Ilyen problémái vannak az alacsony lányoknak, akik magas fiúkkal lógnak együtt.
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"Micsoda?" Rám pislog, sötét szemöldökét összevonva. Esküszöm, ennek a srácnak állandóan ráncos lesz a homloka, mire betölti a húszat. "Nate-nél lakik?"

"Igen."
"És honnan tudod, hogy valaki ott lakik?"
Hm. Mert láttam a fickót bemenni, és nem jön ki többé? Nem mintha egész éjjel fent maradtam volna, hogy ellenőrizzem. De nem alszom túl sokat, és utána még sokáig a lépcsőn maradtam, és játszottam a telefonomon, szóval... Mondjuk úgy, hogy elég biztos vagyok benne, hogy nem ment el az éjszaka folyamán.
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West addigra már helyet foglalt, és elővette a könyveit, melléjük rendezte a tollakat egy takaros sorba. Gondolkodik. Látom a szája feszült vonalán. Az íróasztalának rendezettsége csak normális Westre vall.
Én is helyet foglalok mellette, és az asztalomra dobom a könyvemet és a füzetemet, majd a táskámban kutatok egy toll után.
Végül elkapok egyet West asztaláról, éppen akkor, amikor a tanár belép. "Elolvastad a fejezetet, amit el kellett volna olvasnunk?"
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"Nate mondta, hogy az apja lakótársat keres" - mondja helyette.
Bámulok rá. "Te most viccelsz velem." De West még mindig elgondolkodónak tűnik. "Komolyan mondod. Hova fogják elhelyezni?"
"Van egy plusz szobájuk. És szükségük van a pénzre."
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Szűk pillantást vet rám. "Pénzügyi problémák?"
"Nem, csak gondoltam..." Megrázom a fejem. "Á, mindegy. Hülye ötlet."
"Mit gondoltál? Mondd el."
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Gondolkodom.
Igazából azonban arra gondoltam, hogy ha lenne szobatársam, akkor talán nem lennék olyan magányos.
* * *
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"Hűha." Drámaian a mellkasomra szorított kézzel megfordulok, hogy szembenézzek vele. "Majdnem szívrohamot kaptam."
Elvigyorodik, mézszínű szemei a sarkukban ráncosodnak, egy gödröcske villan az arcán. A haja a homlokára borul, és ő felnyúl, hogy visszatolja, a szája ínycsiklandozó bicepszét meghajlítva. "És?"
"És akkor mi van?" Motyogom, aztán rájövök, hogy még mindig a bicepszét bámulom, és sietve félrenézek. "Ó, hát persze. Azt hiszem, inkább sétálok."
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Megvonom a vállam, úgy teszek, mintha nem érdekelne, pedig annyira hálás vagyok a jelenlétéért. Tudod, van egy csapat fiú, akik szeretnek piszkálni, sarokba szorítani - Theo és a bandája -, és nem zavartak, mióta Nate és West a szárnyaik alá vettek.
Az az igazság, hogy nem tudom, miért vették a szárnyaik alá. Lopva Nate-re pillantok, ahogy kilépünk az iskola kapuján, és jobbra fordulunk az úton, a környékünk általános irányába.
Olyan magas, mint West, de könnyedén felveszi a tempómat, és hosszú lábait csoszogtatva lassítja a lépteit.
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Míg West feszült és gyakran gondolataiba merül, addig Nate odafigyel, minden lépésünknél ellenőrzi, hogy egy hullámhosszon vagyunk-e. Olyan kedves velem, és ez veszélyes, mert vágyom erre. A gondolatra, hogy valaki törődik velem.
Fogalmam sincs, mit tettem volna, ha ők ketten nem lennének. Nem tudják, valószínűleg nem is érdekelné őket, ha tudnák, de megmentettek. Annyi mindenben.
De nem tartoznak nekem, ezt nem szabad elfelejtenem. Én vagyok az, aki tartozik nekik.
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Szoros vonallá préselem a számat, és sajnálom, hogy hagytam, hogy segítsen a hátizsákommal, hogy újabb adóssággal tartozom neki, és utálom, hogy emlékeztetett rá.
Nem mintha gyűlölni tudnám Nate-et. Istenem, semmiképp. Ha valami, akkor...
Tudod mit? Nem. Nem megyek oda. Lenézek, ahogy egyik lábamat a másik elé teszem, a poros cipőmet bámulom, és próbálom rendben tartani a gondolataimat. Van elég gondom anélkül is, hogy furcsa érzésekkel és reményekkel bonyolítanám a dolgokat.
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Nate megtorpan, a hátizsákom leesik a válláról, és a földre csapódik. "Micsoda?"
"Ne hazudj nekem" - motyogom sötéten.
Elég a hazugságokból.
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Megvonom a vállam.
"Tegnapig nem tudtam a hirdetésről." Nem tett egy lépést sem, és én elidőzöm mellette, bizonytalanul a tekintetét elborító sötétség miatt. Igen, ez biztos, hogy nem az a Nate, akit én ismerek. "Jane azt mondta, hogy szükségünk van a pénzre."
Jane. Így hívja az anyját. Mindig is furcsának találtam. Talán aranyos?
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"Oké." Ismét megvonom a vállam. Aztán, mivel nem mozdul és nem mond semmit: "Ez olyan rossz? Mármint, hogy van egy szobatársam."
Megrázza a fejét, mintha pókhálón törne át. "Nem lesz vele gond."
Bámulok rá, próbálom kitalálni, mi az, ami furcsának tűnik a válaszában. Nem az, hogy rossz vagy jó, hogy van egy szobatársam, nem az, hogy Nate mit gondol erről, vagy hogy ez hogyan befolyásolhatja az életét. A lakótárssal minden rendben lesz.
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Nate lakása jól karbantartott, tiszta és rendezett, és a szülei kedves embereknek tűnnek.
Mielőtt megkérdezhetném, mire gondolt, ha gondolt egyáltalán valamire, újra elindul, ezúttal sokkal gyorsabban, és nincs más választásom, mint követni.
Mire hazaérünk, és belépünk a házunkba, a tekintete mintha kitisztult volna, és elválnak útjaink, mielőtt eszembe jutna, hogy egy szót sem szólt többet a titokzatos szobatársról, és hogy magával vitte a hátizsákomat.
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Talán még beszélgethetek Nate-tel.
Talán rájövök, mi ültette azt a sötétséget az általában csillogó szemébe.
És talán magam is találkozhatok a titokzatos lakótárssal, mindezt még azelőtt, hogy munkába kell készülnöm.
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